1. Every problem you have is spiritual.
2. In every romance movie, someone must die.
3. It is possible to hit a person without actually touching them!
4. Anyone who gets hit by a car dies immediately.
5. Poisoned food always tastes better.
6. The best way to make money is by visiting a 'Babalawo' (Witchdoctor).
7. At least one of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil.
8. There is never an end to suffering, except death!
9. With a pastor... all things are possible
10. A movie can be titled anything... such as - The Boy is Mine, Two Rats,
Spanner, Calculator, etc.
11. A movie has not been made if at least one actor/actress has not twisted his/her lips to speak wrong phonetics in an attempt to sound American/British.
12. You are in love... you want to take your girl out, the best place you take her to is... Mr. Biggs, Tantalizers, the beach or the best - take her to buy some new ugly clothes.
13. An Igbo movie has been made if...
* You visit a Witchdoctor
* A fleet of cars is shown off
* Kanayo 'O' Kanayo is in the movie, alongside Pete Edochie wearing the usual red cap!
* To get rich it is mandatory you join a cult
14. Gunshots and fireworks always sound the same!
15. 99% of the time, the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie.
16. A love story has not been produced if it does not have one or two of the following actresses;
* Stella Damasus-Aboderin
* Stephanie Okereke
* Genevieve Nnaji
* Omotola Jolade-Ekeinde
* Rita Dominic
17. The Nigerian Police are extremely 'efficient' unlike their counterparts in real life...
18. An actress can wear the same hairdo for more than a year...
19. It is permissible to wear very dark shades at night, indoors or out!
20. When you are shot in the chest, it really doesn't matter; your head will be bandaged! Same for your legs!
21. When advertising a movie, you really should shout because... people are deaf?
22. When you are extremely poor, you will still be able to afford very good furniture and a T.V. set, but you won't be able to send your kids to school.
23. All past scenes (flashbacks) are in black and white with distorted sound.
24. Future scenes are always “ten or twenty years later”
25. Everyone uses their party dresses and make up even when cooking in the kitchen or sleeping.
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Comments (3 posted):
So much bad english in our movies. Who are the script writers and who does the editing for goodness sake? The start of development is always considered a good thing, no matter how really bad and low standard that development is. But look at the world around us. This is not 1980 or 1960.this is 2007. There are no excuses for the sort of outputwe are getting from NIGERIAN movies. Up till now the number of actors that can manage to piece together one single sentence in a whole film without mashing it up and making horrendously embarrassing grammatical mistakes are a handful. Terrible! Let us thank God for the saving grace of a few who valiantly continue to keep us looking somewhat dignified like Joke Silva, Olu Jacobs, Liz Benson, Bimbo Akintola, Omotola Jalade Ekeinde and Stephanie Okereke.
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