Originally Posted by toyin

Let's face it: English is a stupid language. There is
no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger, and
neither Pine nor apple in the pineapple. English
muffins were not invented in England; French fries
were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted. But if we
examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you
down slowly, boxing rings are square and guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing? If the
plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of
phone booth be phone beeth. If the teacher taught,
why didn't the preacher praught. If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?
Why do people Park on driveways and drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
where a house can burn up as it burns down and in

which you fill in a form by filling it out. And a
bell is only heard once it
goes!


People, not computers, invented English and it
reflects the creativity of the human race (which of
course isn't a race at all). That is why when the
stars are out they are visible, but when the lights
are out they are invisible. And why is it that when I
wind up my watch it starts but when I wind up this
story it ends? And there's more...

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults
enjoy
adultery? If love is blind, why is lingerie so
popular? Why is the man who invests all your money
called a broker? Why is a person who plays the piano
called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car
not called a racist? Why are "a wise man" and "a
wise guy opposites"? Why do overlook and oversee
mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean
to make terrible? Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one,
since 22 is pronounced twenty-two? If lawyers are

disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,

cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons
debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1
billion stars in the universe you will believe them,
but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will
have to touch it to be sure? If you take an Oriental
person and spin him around several times, does
he
become disoriented? If people from Poland are called
"Poles," why aren't people from Holland called
"Holes"????