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Lafem · #28 (**permalink**) 01-04-2007, 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KikisMuffin

My views expressed are against the domestic abuse SILENTLY suffered by a lot of african women, and NOT the institution of marriage. They suffer silently, and then the minute they are liberated into a system were they dont have to take rubbish, they are out of that home so fast. Thats why you see so many women in apparently "happy" marriages back home, jumping ship when they move to the US. These women arent docile in the least. They just go with the flow back home so that our society wont brand them as "that woman who no fit stay for im husband house"!!On the flip side, Men also suffer that same emotional abuse, when they are married to the wrongest person who makes their lives a living hell.

Now if you take away that escape and liberation the US social and legal system awards you, then these couples I icited above, stick it out and slowly build resentment. I dont need to give you viable stats about the number of spousal homicides, or really bad violent stories in marriages back home, its all around me. A day doesnt go by when I dont pick up the newspaper were someone picks up a gun, matchete, acid etc to finish off his spouse. Or reading stories about women using otakpiakpia, knives etc to kill off theirhusbands. Some just cut their balls off in the middle of the night. My point is in all these cases, you can clearly trace a history of violence or just simply a longsuffering unhappy marriage as clear causes. If this is the case, shouldnt those erstwhile partners have given up the farce and seperated to live on their own. Me thinks yes, cos in the long run their offspring will still have able bodied parents for support, instead of that legacy of one parent murdered by the other! That LAfem, is the essence of my argument, you get me now?

@Kikis: I see your point, it's just that the majority of immigrant marriages that fail after arriving in this parts aren't necessarily casualties of domestic violence, as you seem to think. Truth is that some women arrive here and selfishly take undue advantage of a faulty and damaged legal system that promotes/rewards a culture of divorce, a system that many americans increasingly acknowledge is cause for concern. I'm very much in favor of divorce in special cases, especially where the life and general wellbeing of a spouse is endangered a result of abuse, but only as a last resort.