My father in law is pissing me off. - Page 3 - Nigerian Movies & Nollywood on Naijarules.com

leggy · #31 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mojames

Leggy, inlaw issues are very delicate and as i neva get experience make i no go worsen situation but emmm....maybe u shld go to a friend's house in the morning before he comes over and come back late evening when he must have gone...tell him ahead of time say from henceforth, u dey carry ur baby go check-up now? and say the doctor said u shld be coming everyday until further notice, abi him wan follow go dat one too?

@funmo u funny o....dem say fire on d mountain-run, u still dey ask wetin cause the fire...lmao
@sidney....ur own na serious problem, u need paracetamol, u no well at all o..

this is a good idea o.thanx jare

ddizzle · #32 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 05:28 PM

Leggy I understand where youre coming from but im going to approach the situation from your father in laws point of view. This is man that you said is retired, his kids live in town (2 others) but yet he tends to visit your house more often watches tv as he pleases and so on. From what i can gather he has lived most of his life raised his children and is enjoying his retirement.

so you gave birth to a bundle of joy and now he has a new grandchild (is that his first?).

did it ever occur that simply just wants to be a part of your babies life... he is a pain now but no one knows tomorow... i wish my paternal grandfather and grandmother came over to my house when i was a baby every day... they might run up the bills but at least i'd know them.

Time flies leggy before you know it (God forbid) this man is gone what will you say then? Life is short its the bad things we will remember if we keep dwelling on the bad im sure he means well...Allow the man.. his last child now has a family of his own and he is simply proud and just wants to be a part of your childs life

Im sure he is mature you and husband can sit him down and talk... maybe he can shorten his visits to weekends.. but please at least allow him to pass wisdom to your son/daughter even if your child is only 3 months old..for his wisdom passed down may last your child a lifetime

Abike · #33 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 05:32 PM

Sid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its not funny jere!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sidney

No mind Funmo, wit im marriage counselor diploma from Ajegunle Tech....

Take it easy sis! I heard if you are breast feeding while angry, the milk comes out hot... Think of de baby!

Babyai · #34 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sidney

Funmo? Which kin Dr. Phil SAT you dey give Leggy now?

De woman get knife for hand you wan make am fill out questionaire.....

sidney you're too funny

Abike · #35 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 05:35 PM

Leggy sweetie, I really cant give much of USEFUL advise in this area, so please pardon me while I release some laughter from some of these answers...

@ BB!... @ Bold...bwhahhahaaaaaa

@ 2nd highlight..."occupy her hubby?" Like when Christ said, "Occupy till I come?"

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackbutterfly

EXCELLENT, Funmo...this go lay the foundation down before man sabi how to advice and proceed with this Leggy hin wahala which is a serious problem, o. And I will add to following:

Do you leave in a house or an apartment? Because you really are not obligated to answer the buzzer or door bell. If he rings the door bell/buzzer a couple of time and gets no answer maybe he will get the point.

Also, depending on how close you are to your mother-in-law, maybe you can have a heart to heart with her. Encourage her to occupy her own husband, abeg.'

Abeg, make you send your husband o because na him papa dey drive you to drink kaikai, o. You have to sit him down and talk to him seriously because he might not even be aware that the thing is driving you batty. Na him papa, na him go fit check am without causing animosity which in Naija marriage...make God help you...because no matter how he phrases it, they will all say it's YOU that is the issue not wanting the old man with nothing to do to visit his baby boy's house to see his grandson.

My sister, tread carefully....

Abike · #36 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 05:38 PM

Where is tam-Tam, Okestra, and Ricardo in this one?

peculiar · #37 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abike

Leggy sweetie, I really cant give much of USEFUL advise in this area, so please pardon me while I release some laughter from some of these answers...

@ BB!... @ Bold...bwhahhahaaaaaa

@ 2nd highlight..."occupy her hubby?" Like when Christ said, "Occupy till I come?"

You know, Biks!

leggy · #38 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddizzle

Leggy I understand where youre coming from but im going to approach the situation from your father in laws point of view. This is man that you said is retired, his kids live in town (2 others) but yet he tends to visit your house more often watches tv as he pleases and so on. From what i can gather he has lived most of his life raised his children and is enjoying his retirement.

so you gave birth to a bundle of joy and now he has a new grandchild (is that his first?).

did it ever occur that simply just wants to be a part of your babies life... he is a pain now but no one knows tomorow... i wish my paternal grandfather and grandmother came over to my house when i was a baby every day... they might run up the bills but at least i'd know them.

Time flies leggy before you know it (God forbid) this man is gone what will you say then? Life is short its the bad things we will remember if we keep dwelling on the bad im sure he means well...Allow the man.. his last child now has a family of his own and he is simply proud and just wants to be a part of your childs life

Im sure he is mature you and husband can sit him down and talk... maybe he can shorten his visits to weekends.. but please at least allow him to pass wisdom to your son/daughter even if your child is only 3 months old..for his wisdom passed down may last your child a lifetime

DD,may u never lack in wisdom.dis ur post especially @ highlighted scares me a lot.u all wont beleive dis............5 minutes ago we just got a call from naija dat my father in law's elder brother just passed on.10mins ago.
abeg i've changed my mind......he should come as much as he wants.like u said up there,no one knows what will happen 2rw.God,i'm so scared.may his soul rest in peace

ddizzle · #39 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leggy

DD,may u never lack in wisdom.dis ur post especially @ highlighted scares me a lot.u all wont beleive dis............5 minutes ago we just got a call from naija dat my father in law's elder brother just passed on.10mins ago.
abeg i've changed my mind......he should come as much as he wants.like u said up there,no one know what will happen 2rw.God,i'm so scared.may his soul rest in peace

Accept my condolences Leggy on the loss May God bless you and your family through this dark time and thank for your kind words..

Remember he watches over us... he will never fail us...remember girl it is your matrimonial home...voice out your opinion on anything as you wish!

Abike · #40 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 05:58 PM

Glad to read divergent views on this topic....

Disu, you have a point...but him spending time with his child and grandchild could also be done with respect and boundaries, which from Leggy's posts are missing right now.....if they can work around that, I think things will work out better....

@ Leggy - wishing your inlaws peace @ this time...

ddizzle · #41 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abike

Glad to read divergent views on this topic....

Disu, you have a point...but him spending time with his child and grandchild could also be done with respect and boundaries, which from Leggy's posts are missing right now.....if they can work around that, I think things will work out better....

@ Leggy - wishing your inlaws peace @ this time...

Very true Abike..

Im not entirely saying she should let her guard down and allow him to have a Tv marathon in her house no, she and her hubby can sit him down and let him know the best time to come...

Its just his mention of "watching the baby while she sleeps" that motivated me to take a different approach!

Sola · #42 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 06:12 PM

Abeg, Leggy, wetin be your address? E be like say man fit enjoi TV watching for dat ya sofa too...

Na delicate matter and once you've sampled views, make up your mind. Just don't create rifts between you guys or it will never go away.

tam-tam · #43 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abike

Where is tam-Tam, Okestra, and Ricardo in this one?

My sister,

I dey o! Just goin thru my own wahala and from myfamily. Like most people have said, it's a tough one.

It's especially tough where family is involved and to be honest, I really don't know what to say because I haven't really encountered in-law problems. It's actually my family members who are giving me wahala because I'm no longer carrying their problems on their head... but back to leggy's issues - much as I agree with Ddi's point of view, I also know that sometimes we NEED our own space.

Yes, I know life is too short and all that but sometimes, you just want to be with your nuclear family and that's that!

At these times, I just ask God for peace and the grace to handle the situation because I honestly haven't got a clue on how to deal with this one.

So Leggy my dear, if all else fails, prayer doesn't, ever...use it...extensively...it works! I know

blackbutterfly · #44 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abike

Leggy sweetie, I really cant give much of USEFUL advise in this area, so please pardon me while I release some laughter from some of these answers...

@ BB!... @ Bold...bwhahhahaaaaaa

@ 2nd highlight..."occupy her hubby?" Like when Christ said, "Occupy till I come?"

My sister, she dey slack for she job na hin dey come affect our Leggy anyhow, anyhow. Dis na like dose people who go come drop dem unruly chilren dem for your house while dem dey enjoy peace of mind for dem own. LAI LAI, na she marry am, na she sabi wetin to do witam because obviously Leggy don tire! Even after the pickin don sleep, our gialllll no fit even watch small Dr. Phil, wetinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn?! In fact, dem dey advise new mothers to sleep when the pickin' dey sleep to get rest so when hin wake up and here it is the woman no fit close eye because somebodi leave him job, dey collect money and get time to travel. Make him call travel agency, o haba!

Sola · #45 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tam-tam

I dey o! Just goin thru my own wahala and from myfamily. Like most people have said, it's a tough one.

Me sef dey go through wahala from my wife. She beats me and makes me sweep the floor, cook the food, wash the clothes like say I be boi-boi. Make una help me b4 I quench o. Leggy, you get vacancy for dat couch?