Originally Posted by sidney

It is interesting, that one frustration post by Leggy, has people assigning what type of character she is. Everyone loses patience but that does not automatically mean her personality type does not lend itself to the patience many people are expounding here. Her quick acceptance of Ddizzle post even indicates that. Also remember she might still be hormonal. She just had a baby 3 months ago!

If you have ever had deal with an in-law or a spouse you will quickly realize what works and what does not. Especially when the in-law in question is not a bad person or does not do anything, in particular, against you or your family. Unless the in-law is a bastard, mean, intrusive or downright wicked, all this tough "tell like it is" talk or barring action does not always work. It might yield the results you desire in the short term, but might cause irreversible damage in the long term that you will regret later.

It is easy to do all this tough talk on an internet site, but to look a person in the eye, who has done nothing wrong to you or your family, who is the parent of your spouse and tell them where to jump off never works in the long run. You are bound to regret it.

Sometimes, strength of character is not what you refuse to accept, but what you are willing to take.


<Funny enough, if my friends saw this they wouldn't believe I wrote it. I am a MF when I am crossed. I found out, as I matured, that the long term wider picture must always be in your mind when you take actions that relief short term situation.>

Originally Posted by sidney

It is interesting, that one frustration post by Leggy, has people assigning what type of character she is. Everyone loses patience but that does not automatically mean her personality type does not lend itself to the patience many people are expounding here. Her quick acceptance of Ddizzle post even indicates that. Also remember she might still be hormonal. She just had a baby 3 months ago!

If you have ever had deal with an in-law or a spouse you will quickly realize what works and what does not. Especially when the in-law in question is not a bad person or does not do anything, in particular, against you or your family. Unless the in-law is a bastard, mean, intrusive or downright wicked, all this tough "tell like it is" talk or barring action does not always work. It might yield the results you desire in the short term, but might cause irreversible damage in the long term that you will regret later.

It is easy to do all this tough talk on an internet site, but to look a person in the eye, who has done nothing wrong to you or your family, who is the parent of your spouse and tell them where to jump off never works in the long run. You are bound to regret it.

Sometimes, strength of character is not what you refuse to accept, but what you are willing to take.


<Funny enough, if my friends saw this they wouldn't believe I wrote it. I am a MF when I am crossed. I found out, as I matured, that the long term wider picture must always be in your mind when you take actions that relieve short term situation.>

Originally Posted by tam-tam

And you wonder why you are the NR gentleman of the year and ALL the ladies love you??? (yes, we all do in and out of the closet!!!)

Originally Posted by blackbutterfly

My broz, I may not be anyone's mother but it doesn't mean I can't understand the situation or empathize. I don't think I have to be a mother to understand how it feels sometimes to be overwhelmed and just needing to work it out myself before anyone offers their well intentioned help. Everyone handles theirs differently....everyone's tolerance is different. You worked yours out differently and your sister in laws may have back fired on her, I think it's all in how it is handled. I stand by my "generalization"...people even if it's a small family unit or large don't want people hovering around them all the time. Human beings like their space whether for 5 mins, 1day etc. Even husbands and wives give each other a break by doing something with their friends now and again...It is all in how the matter is handled. I had already suggested that she should sit down with her husband and discuss the matter or have a heart to heart with her mother in law explaining that though she appreciates the visits, could it be timed differently etc etc. I understand that family chipping in in this kinds of situation is very very helpful but her choice is being taken away. It is her home too and she should be able to be free and she should be able to choose when she wants or does not want visitors even if it's family. I know her father in law means no harm and I'm sure she knows that deep in her heart but right now that might not be the best thing for her, for her personality type.

Peacefully speaking
Bfly

Originally Posted by Sola

Yeah, right. Gentleman...When me I dey dia...

Originally Posted by leggy

i dont know aw to actually start wat i'm abt to say cos i'm actually pissed off rite now.he started coming over to our house since d day i had my baby(abt 3months ago).He comes EVERY F8CKING DAY.arrrrrrrgh.imagine having d same visitor everyday.eating ur food,using d toilet,taking control of d tv etc,etc.the exact problem is i'm not F8CKING FREE IN MY HOUSE ANYMORE.

i'm not dat free with him.His son is not free with him either.we dont really av anything to say together.i av tried to really stomach his visit but not anymore.he sits in front of d tv from like 2.30pm till 9.30pm(see me see wahala) changing channels anyhow thereby making me miss all my own progms.to worsen d matter,his son is not always around so i'm d one dat sits at home with him from morning till nite,going from one room to d other just to avoid him.hisssssssssss.

At first,he says he was always coming so as to stay with d baby 4 me while i sleep.and once my mum-in law is around,he wont be coming everyday.okay we agreed.my mum-in law has bin around since 2wks now.that is when my father in law now deemed it fit to kuku be coming very early in d morning everyday.his exccuse,i av come to see my wife's face......what d f8uck is dat?
4 heavens sake we are not in naija where pple just come visiting like dat.sometimes we f8ciking need our privacy........to cut the long story short.i av told his son to find a way of telling his papa to reduce his visits.he says he doesnt know aw to tell him which i understand and i told him to tell his mum to tell her husband to PLEASE IN THE NAME OF GOD REDUCE THIS BORING AND ANNOYING VISITS.

ive told my mum abt this but she said i shld not tell my hus but too late i told him already.no regret.i just want y'all to help us out.aw shuld my hus table the matter in front of his mum so dat d mum can table d matter to her hus.(they really fear that man no be small).pls i want ur contributions cos as i'm typing this, himself and my mum in law are rite behind me doing some kurukuru......really i'm pissed off.i dont want to cook anything until he's gone.period.

Originally Posted by Mojames

Leggy, inlaw issues are very delicate and as i neva get experience make i no go worsen situation but emmm....maybe u shld go to a friend's house in the morning before he comes over and come back late evening when he must have gone...tell him ahead of time say from henceforth, u dey carry ur baby go check-up now? and say the doctor said u shld be coming everyday until further notice, abi him wan follow go dat one too?

@funmo u funny o....dem say fire on d mountain-run, u still dey ask wetin cause the fire...lmao
@sidney....ur own na serious problem, u need paracetamol, u no well at all o..

Originally Posted by paj

...hey..tsk..Leggy..do U have any Valium in d house?and..oh..does he ask U to serve him drinks?I'm just saying....

Originally Posted by Sola

Me sef dey go through wahala from my wife. She beats me and makes me sweep the floor, cook the food, wash the clothes like say I be boi-boi. Make una help me b4 I quench o. Leggy, you get vacancy for dat couch?

Originally Posted by leggy

i carefully read everybody's posts from begining till end and i say a big thank u to y'all.cos i was able to benefit from each and everyone that posted.
@ sydney.....my quick acceptance of DDizle's post was as a result of d news i heard from naija abt his brother's death and DD's post came in shortly after dat.remember there was a part she said ''no one knows 2rw.what if something happens to dis man''.that scared me hence my acceptance of her post.But i must really confess that a lot of pple on board tried to wear my shoes to feel where it pains.
Thanx to everyone once again.

Originally Posted by sidney

Funmo? Which kin Dr. Phil SAT you dey give Leggy now? De woman get knife for hand you wan make am fill out questionaire.....