Interesting Article I must say, I would like to know what you ladies and of course men think about it - - and yes i stole it from NIA - Buda shoot me

How losing their femininity has moved many away from God

LOOKING AROUND it’s easy to get the impression that women have forgotten how to behave like ladies.

It seems that women have thrown femininity, that aspect of their being that makes them unique and different from men, out the window, as they compete with men in the workplace, at home and in their relationships.

One writer even admitted that aggressively pursuing her career, and a failed marriage, had caused her to lose touch with her femininity. When she went on dates men actually told her she wasn’t feminine enough.

Unfortunately, Christian women aren’t always that different. They can get so caught up with achieving career goals, volunteering in church ministries, and juggling various roles, their femininity takes a back seat.

Being feminine is one of the joys of being a woman and we express it in how we dress, how we act, how we treat others and how we relate to men. Being able to express our femininity signifies confidence, respect for ourselves and others, and celebrates the fact that God did not make a mistake when he made us.

During a recent holiday in Jamaica, I participated in many discussions about the state of black relationships. One comment several people expressed was that too many young women behave like men in their relationships by being aggressive and treating sex like it was nothing.

They said although men would happily have sex with such women, they wouldn’t have a long lasting relationship with them.

The Bible gives guidelines on the kind of qualities a woman should develop, such as a caring attitude, compassion, understanding, hardworking, have love for herself and others and be respectful.

It also lists another quality that the modern woman has great problem with – submission, particularly when relating to men. This may be due to the influence of feminism, or more likely they have witnessed their mothers, relatives and friends being abused and mistreated by the men in their lives.

However, the truth of the matter is, that feminine women understand that being submissive is not a weakness – it can be a strength if they know who they are and love themselves.

In fact, women who can be submissive when called for tend to have successful relationships with men because they set healthy boundaries for themselves, and if a man oversteps the mark they usually send them packing.

The great thing about being a 21st century woman is that the world is our oyster. Anything is achievable. But, in pursuing our goals and living up to our beliefs, women should not lose touch with their femininity.

God will direct us on how we should behave in each situation, but we will find our lives richer as a result of being who He made us to be - women who love Him, ourselves and others.
Voice Online :: Why women need to be submissive

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Love is not a choice - it is a Commandment ~ Pastor Bimbo Odukoya

Here is the problem i have with this submission thing, no one ever comes out and describes what submission is!

it's one thing to say "submit to me, i am your husband" but what exactly is submission?
my idea of submitting is different from my mother's idea of submitting, and my grandmother's.

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So being driven is not feminine? This is complete nonsense. There are men that do not want women who are not as driven as they are and there are women who are the CEO at work but want to come home and be pampered and treated gently. Of course she willnot be a push over at home either nad if the man sees this traits in her before he marries her then he should leave her and go for a cashier or a secretary or something.
All this submit nonsense gets on my nerves. And like Thickmadam said, what does submit mean. Who defines it. What does the Bible really mean by "submit" to your husbands.

The fact of the matter is that the 21st century feminine woman is not the 18th century feminine woman. These men and woman need to get with the program. Woman support their families now and many men stay home and raise the kids, Times have changed.

Submissiveness is the incidence or trait of yielding to the expressed will of another person or some display of force. It can be found in everyday human interaction. Submissiveness can be a benign aspect of the social fabric, or it may be part of other problems that a person experiences.

Within human relationships there may be a submissive partner. This partner may be trying to appease the other(s) through agreeing to their command. If they are otherwise healthy this partner may be content. If one or both of the people are experiencing chronic, pervasive emotional distress then the relationship or individuals may require reevaluation.

People who are eager and willing to take on a recurring submissive role in a relationship or who fetishize the trait of submissiveness may seek out others that share their interest or form long term pairings based on consenting to heightened levels of submission in a relationship. This may be incidental in certain cultural or social groups, or may be explicitly expressed in others such as the BDSM subculture (particularly Pup-play), or the Taken in hand subculture.

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Love is not a choice - it is a Commandment ~ Pastor Bimbo Odukoya

I was about to say the same thing. It seems like the author of the original article is bluring the lines between feminity and submission, calling both the same thing and I beg to differ.

Submission is for ones husband not every man. It is a position in a relationship with your husband, both doing their part. You can not be submissive to every man, what is their right over you? And submission is defined differently by different people.

To be feminine is a state of being, and a woman will not neccessarily be respected or advance in some circles if she comes across as too feminine (whatever that might mean) like in some business circles.

Also she seems to be equating feminity with morals. hmmm.. Women should be sure they are not defining who they are supposed to be by a man's expectations/standards. All these definitions, what should a natural sport loving tomboy feel about themselves? Nothing?

As a man raised by an amazingly strong mother and now a father of two daughters, I simply detest the words "submission" or any word that diminishes or restricts or sets boundries to what woman can do or where they can reach or how they should define themselves.

Men and woman are not the same. Just like no two men or two women are the same. But we are all human beings. So I want my daughters to be the best human beings they can be, in whatever capacity they define that to be.

Their feminity shouldn't be defined by any boundries. It theirs and their alone to define.

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"This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time....
We will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people,
Yes We Can!"
President Barack Obama

Thank you. very well said. I was actually just thinking before i read your response - "what will men that have daughters say about this?"

Human boundries and rules only do one thing, stiffle ones potential, manipulate and control. I used to, before going to God in prayer struggle with what this whole submission, women should do this and that means. But after deciding to close my ears to the world, clear my mind of all voices, refocus on scripture and look at the overall nature of Christ, i realized the immense freedom I am supposed to have, the immense liberty in expression and since then, i allow no one to define who and what i am supposed to be and shy away from no one.

I once took an art class for a friend (I went to classes for an ex-girlfriend and then wrote her paper... long story...) and I read something (forgot what text book) I never forgot.

The instant you definitively define what you are seeing, you have immediately limited your ability to see more.

The moment you put in stone - Feminity = xxx, you have immediately hindered your ability to see or explore or redefine that word could mean. Today and for the future.

Another saying I love from Steven Covey is: "Every breakthough in life is a result of a breakwith something else"

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"This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time....
We will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people,
Yes We Can!"
President Barack Obama

Love it and totally agree with quotes. You know it works even in things like scriptwriting. Many times after a first draft in which i have written what i think the characters should say and do, i realize how limiting they are and have to many times consciously tell myself to stop defining my characters, and just go with it. Can't explain it more eloquently than that.

But what I end up doing is taking risk with them, letting them move along at their own pace and the story ends up with more flair and potential.

I guess in a way it's the same in life.

You know when i was in college, we used to read a lot of novels by well renown authors and usually but not always they felt that to be a good artist, they had to let go of religion and in essense God. I read a lot of novels set in old centuries and i am beginning to understand why people thought to shade religion will make them freer. The clergy in those times were terrible and sadly it is in some cases still the same. This submission thing has being preached from the pulpit and interpreted from a bondage, pride perspective through the centuries that women have bought into it. And it's hard to say God said and a brave soul fight that.

I guess what i am saying is even the church puts these boundaries on women, afterall even the original article referenced scripture. One should protect their liberty in Christ. Christ is concerned with your heart, it's pure state or not. That's for all humans. If you are a woman that is agressive, forward, or eccentric in likes/dislikes, this is how you were made and God will use that, the beautiful unique you for his glory.

FD and Sidney,

How absolutely beautiful. I don't think its as much a religious thing as it is a cultural thing though. Our people have this sense of how things should be, and cannot conceptualize anything different. So if you are different, there is something wrong with you.

Let everybody find their own optimal path, as long as GOD and conscience does not condemn you, go be what you were made to be.

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Tell the truth and shame the devil!

Thank you.

Bless you.

I have seen the submissive thing spunned the wrong way, based more on cultural beliefs than religious beliefs....

It is well...

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RIP Pastor Ify Irukwu ....

I'm looking forward to experiencing some Unspeakable Joy!

Not saying it is religion or not as the influencer but stating that it is definitely preached on the pulpit across the board and usually, influenced by religion or cultured - who can place definitely one over the other? Either way it is preached from a pulpit as well as other venues.

The religious part was beside the point. More of an observation.

My sister is engaged and her finace's former pastor in Nigeria wrote an email to her that went pretty much this way. "you are nothing, your husband is everything", "you are number zero and he is number one". I almost had a heart attack. Can you imagine what the women in this church go through. Every single one of them is living in bondage. My sister's pastor here in the US read the email and simply said wedding has to be postponed until futher notice until we are sure that her fiance does not have the same views on marriage. He does not obviously but it kind of shocked all of us that a man who calls himself a man of God is so full of evil. I pity his wife. I will never raise my voice to a man of God but since I know 100% that this man was not called by the same God I serve let me not run into him anytime soon with a taser in my purse. I will definitely show him how to submit.

Out of curiousity and with respect to your future brother in law, but what gave the pastor the audacity and comfort to write such a letter? Could he by any chance think your brother in law thinks that way? And why?

And how did your brother in law react to it? I am not saying your brother in law is that way as you know him better but just help your sister in love, look at everything clearly. We know how love overlooks.

The pastor..well.. you'll be amazed how many christian men think like he does.

And the sisters accept it because..well... that is all they know and scripture is manipulated to make that point and who wants to argue with the scripture especially in a culture that greatly and unscripturally exalts pastors.