Worth Waiting For
Pastor Bimbo Odukoya
Dele and Bisi met while they were both undergraduates at the University of Ibadan. They became close friends and soon started dating. They were in the same faculty and this afforded them the opportunity of seeing each other every day and spending much time developing their relationship. It soon became obvious to all that they were more than just mere friends and their relationship was a model to many of their friends. Dele and Bisi were deeply in love and they planned to get married as soon as they both secured good jobs and were able to settle down after their graduation.
Their enthusiasm continued until about two years after they both had concluded their National Youth Service Corps programme (NYSC). Bisi had got a job easily and was earning a good income but in spite of his efforts, Dele just could not get a job. He sat for tests, passed the tests and was called for interviews in several organisations but he had always ended up not being offered employment.
Many companies told him that he had passed their interview and that they would get in touch with him but they never did. The two of them could not understand why this was happening and after a while, Bisi began to get discouraged. She had marked her 30th birthday that year and she feared that if Dele did not get a job very soon, she might end up spending more years in her father's house. She did not like the idea at all.
After a while, Bisi suggested that Dele just take up any job offer so that he would have some work experience on his resume and probably boost his chances of getting the kind of job that he actually desired. Dele accepted her suggestion. So, he stopped being choosy about the kind of job to apply for. Surprisingly, even when he applied for jobs that did not really require being a graduate, he was turned down by most of the companies because he was over-qualified for the positions he applied for. But at last, he got a job as a computer operator in a business center. The salary was nothing to write home about, but Dele was happy that he was finally working and had good news to break to his heartthrob.
However, after working for five months with the business center, Dele had to stop work because they could not pay him his salary for the period he had spent with them. Though they promised to pay him as soon as they could, Dele could not continue because he had exhausted the little amount of money he had on transportation and feeding. When Bisi got to know this, she felt frustrated. Bisi saw quite well that Dele was doing his possible best to start off in life, but he was just not making any progress in spite of his efforts. She felt that she could not continue the relationship with Dele if things did not change soon. While this was happening, one of Dele's uncles advised him to further his education while still searching for a job. The same uncle offered to pay the tuition fee for the Masters programme that Dele later began. Bisi felt that Dele was just wasting both his and her time. So, one day, she called him and broke up their relationship. Dele was heartbroken but there was nothing he could say to change Bisi's mind.
One morning, several months after Bisi broke up with him, Dele received a letter of appointment from one of the companies he had always wanted to work with. He was told to resume for work the following month. Their pay package was very good and within a few months, Dele was able to move out of his parents' home and rented a two-bedroom apartment. He later met a young lady, Yinka, who he liked and after dating for about two years, he asked her to marry him. Yinka agreed to marry him and they began to prepare for the D-day.
In the mean time, Bisi had got a scholarship to further her education in Sweden. So, she had travelled out of the country. About 18 months later, she was through with the Masters' programme and she was still single. She then realised how much she had missed the friendship she shared with Dele. Somehow she had not met anyone like him since they broke up and having got a good job in Sweden, the only thing missing in her life was a man. She decided to get in touch with Dele, at least, to say Hi! She started by sending him e-mails and when she did not get any response, she summoned up courage and gave him a call.
Dele was surprised to get a call from Bisi after such a long time and in the course of their conversation, he learnt she got his number from a mutual friend. Their conversation was cordial as they reminisced over the past. Then, Bisi asked him the question that was actually on her heart: "How is your love-life?" Dele responded by saying: "Oh! I am getting married in two weeks' time to a wonderful lady..." Bisi ran out of words for about a minute as her hopes were dashed and she managed to hide her emotions as she said: "Have a happy married life..."
Comments
Recently, a radio programme held a competition and asked people to define who a friend is. The entries were many and among them was an entry that defined a friend as "someone who knows you more than others." Another said: "Someone who loves you and who you love," but the definition that took the day was the one that defined a friend as "someone who stays when every one leaves."
When we desire a life partner, what we are looking for is someone who is a more than a friend; we are looking for a covenant partner. Someone that only death will part us from; a person who will stay with us through the thick and thin. Someone, who will be loyal, committed and faithful to us through our journey in life. Anything short of this falls short of a good life partner.
From the above story, it is obvious that Dele's early predicament was not caused by laziness; rather his inability to get a job on time was just a challenge that he had to weather. Like Dele, everyone, at one time or the other, will come against a challenge he has to overcome. For such a reason, God planned that the marriage institution should be the best source of support. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:9 "Two are better than one for they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion."
Bisi proved to be a fair weather friend at a time when her support and encouragement was needed most. Her failure as a friend has put her ability to be a good life partner in question. Those who fail the tests of friendship cannot be considered as good life partners.
For more information on the subject of making the right choice when choosing a life partner, I strongly recommend my book: How To Choose A Life Partner, 165 Questions To Ask." (Call 08023847329 for enquiries on how to get the book).
However, there might be instances when a person you love does make a decision like Bisi did and then later discovers the decision he/she had made was wrong. He might genuinely repent and ask for another chance. If in such a case, the person that was jilted still loves him/her, then you can give that person a chance; but please, be careful. Don't let yourself be taken for a ride! Such a person must be allowed to prove his/her loyalty over a period of time.
Through our sojourn in life, we all need a friend who will never leave us nor forsake us, no matter what comes our way. A friend that sticks even closer than a brother.
The greatest friend anyone can have is God, the maker of heaven and earth. If you are yet to have a relationship with him, I advise that you do so today by asking Jesus Christ to come into your life, to be your personal Lord and saviour. He loves you more than you can ever comprehend. If you will like to give your life to Christ, please say this prayer after me: Dear heavenly father, I come to you today and ask you to forgive my sins. I believe in my heart that Jesus Christ is the son of God. I believe that he was raised from the dead for my justification and I confess him now as my Lord and saviour. Thank you for saving me. Amen!
IF THIS ARTICLE TOUCHED YOUR HEART, YOU MIGHT WANT TO TALK TO ANY OF OUR PBO FOUNDATION COUNSELLORS BY CONTACTING, The Fountain of Life Church on 01-8980183/5
or 08035800201. E-mail:
pastor@tfolc.org. You may also visit our website at tfolc.org
culled from daily idependent
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