Thread: Should families reconsider asking husbands to pay brideprice?

Originally Posted by Meddeen250

Brideprice is the money potential husbands pay to inorder for the wife's family to allow them to marry their daughter. Some families ask for huge amounts of money, while others ask for a reasonable amount.
However, I witnessed a lot of husbands beating their wives when I was in Africa and whenever neighbours try to stop them, they normally reply "didn't I pay her brideprice in full, so she belongs to me". I know that sounds stupid but they do have a point to some extent. It appears brideprice is a way of selling people indirectly, and these guys purchased them. I define selling; as handing over something for a price. Which I believe is what most families in Africa are doing.
I also define buying; as the purchasing of goods and services to satisfy human wants, being paid for through exchange (money). And that's what most guys do when they pay brideprice.
I heard of a primary school teacher who had to pay the equivalent of $3000 as a brideprice. This teacher had to ask his relatives abroad to raise that amount inorder for him to pay this money.
It's definitely wrong to use brideprice as an excuse to beat up your wife but since people are now using that excuse, I believe the issue of asking for brideprice must be reconsidered. My questions are

1) Is it wrong to ask for brideprice in the present world?
2) Should families in Africa reconsider asking for brideprice?
3) Would you go ahead and marry someone even if he cannot afford your brideprice due to your familly being unreasonable with the amount they're asking for?

What's the purpose of getting married if you can't afford it? If na me the man had better have money to pay for the marriage jo.

Originally Posted by robeta_021

What's the purpose of getting married if you can't afford it? If na me the man had better have money to pay for the marriage jo.

Even if you love him and your family's being unreasonable with the amount they're asking for?

Anyway, how are you doing today?

Originally Posted by Meddeen250

Even if you love him and your family's being unreasonable with the amount they're asking for?

Anyway, how are you doing today?

That's tough, hopefully I'll be able to convince my family to accept less, if he can't pay up then he can't afford me, he should be prepared to pay up. I dey o.

Originally Posted by robeta_021

That's tough, hopefully I'll be able to convince my family to accept less, if he can't pay up then he can't afford me, he should be prepared to pay up. I dey o.

Ok then, so you don't think families should reconsider asking for brideprice?

I said it before, and I'll say it again: If they become unreasonable with the brideprice, I will just marry a foreigner.

Originally Posted by Pete

I said it before, and I'll say it again: If they become unreasonable with the brideprice, I will just marry a foreigner.

lol I'm not doubting you bro, you're always realistic.

Its not wrong to ask for Bride price..Its part of tradition that should not be erased but it should be in form of a token.

Bride price should be reasonable...why should one spend so much money just to get married to someone they love and be in debt. INSANE.

Bride price is not going to affect my marriage to anyone..not at all. If he cant afford it my family has no option than to reconsider..otherwise my parents should consider me going on with the wedding with out them.

Originally Posted by Aust_nne

Its not wrong to ask for Pride price..Its part of tradition that should not be erased but it should be in form of a token.

Pride price should be reasonable...why should one spend so much money just to get married to someone they love and be in debt. INSANE.

Pride price is not going to affect my marriage to anyone..not at all. If he cant afford it my family has no option than to reconsider..otherwise my parents should consider me going on with the wedding with out them.

Nne, I couldn't help but notice the new name "pride price" three times. Was that done on purpose?

Originally Posted by Pete

Nne, I couldn't help but notice the new name "pride price" three times. Was that done on purpose?

No & YES.

to defend my typo..many parents take pride in stating the worth of their daughters and how much was offered in 'replacement' for the daughter they've groomed.

Originally Posted by Aust_nne

Its not wrong to ask for Pride price..Its part of tradition that should not be erased but it should be in form of a token.

Pride price should be reasonable...why should one spend so much money just to get married to someone they love and be in debt. INSANE.

Pride price is not going to affect my marriage to anyone..not at all. If he cant afford it my family has no option than to reconsider..otherwise my parents should consider me going on with the wedding with out them.

You're right and I believe most families are being unreasonable. But why can't they reconsider asking for brideprice since it's like selling someone.

Originally Posted by Aust_nne

No & YES.

to defend my typo..many parents take pride in stating the worth of their daughters and how much was offered in 'replacement' for the daughter they've groomed.

Oh... apparently you support their reasoning.

No! Paying of bride price should not be abolished, but parents should make it reasonable and affordable so the men can easily get married. Many young men of this generation refuse to get married due to the amount that is demanded as bride price. Notwithstanding, parents should remember that, when the newly married couple go into financial "constraints" or "crisis" due to the high bride price, it steals the joy from the marriage.

why does it cost that much to have a befitting wedding in naija after all this unreasonable bride price? Imagine a wedding ceremony going btw 6- 8 billion naira. na wa o

Originally Posted by Pete

Oh... apparently you support their reasoning.

I dont...no can can place monetary value of me...What on earth is they thinking?


But I still think that Bride price should still be paid but should be Voluntary and a token and parents should not expect too much...all the same....even if the guy gives my parents nothing i dont care. Afterall am stil their daughter and they still have both of us...Isn't better to keep a daughter and an inlaw who would take care of you till you age than to chase away good potential inlaws with your demands.