Thread: I went through my husband's phone and now I'm devastated

Originally Posted by Sola

From a blog reader:

I went through my husband's phone yesterday because of my recent suspicions that he's cheating on me but what I saw on the phone was far worse than what I was expecting to find there. It has practically ruined my life. My husband told his cousin via bb chat that he had fallen out of love with me a long time ago, that the only reason he's still in the marriage was because of our three kids. We've been married for eight years and I've done everything I know how to be a good wife and this is what I get? It would have been less painful if he was cheating. I don't know what to do. I even called in sick to work this morning because I've not been able to stop crying. Should I confront him? Should I release him by giving him a divorce? I love this man to death and I can't believe he stopped loving me along the way. What did I do? He always said I was a good wife, when did I stop being that? He has been so distant lately that I thought he was seeing another woman. My husband has ruined my life.

SOURCE

Sad situation Sometimes women are so focused being a wife that they forget to be a woman too.

For those who may not know, what is the difference between the two?

Originally Posted by blackbutterfly

Sad situation Sometimes women are so focused being a wife that they forget to be a woman too.

Originally Posted by blackbutterfly

Sad situation Sometimes women are so focused being a wife that they forget to be a woman too.

Whew....Glad you're ok. Hope you and yours are doing good...

Originally Posted by Abike

For those who may not know, what is the difference between the two?

Means not depending on those roles to validate your existence in life. It means having an identity/having a life, being an individual and not just focusing on those particular roles of wife and mother alone. Taking care of oneself in all aspects and living life and not existing just to have a boring life of routine after routine. Developing oneself and making sure one is happy with oneself and not looking for someone else to be a source of happiness. All of those things exhudes and just pretty much keeping it sexy and initiating fun in the relationship/encouraging spouse to also grow/evolve positively. Having heart to heart conversations with one's spouse etc...

But sometimes, when some things are over, they are just that, over. You can really only do so much. I wish her the best of luck.

She has not caught him cheating on her, she only found the problem in the relationship. It seems the husband wants to work on the marriage even as he has fallen out of love (the fact that the husband is still in the marriage should give her the clue that he ain't want none of that divorce stuff). Somebody should recommend Mr. & Mrs. to the woman she might b inspired. She has the advantage.

And please under no circumstance she should listen to the wetinhusbandgodo crew if she truly loves her husband as she claims. She should not confront the husband instead console him. The husband is going through a phase and will get back to the man she knew before the new man. There are many paths to the market. You have the smooth ones and the rough ones; the quick ones and the long ones; but they all lead to the same market. She must be very careful in this delicate matter. She should choose her path, carefully and wisely.

Originally Posted by Iya Laje

Means not depending on those roles to validate your existence in life. It means having an identity/having a life, being an individual and not just focusing on those particular roles of wife and mother alone. Taking care of oneself in all aspects and living life and not existing just to have a boring life of routine after routine. Developing oneself and making sure one is happy with oneself and not looking for someone else to be a source of happiness. All of those things exudes and just pretty much keeping it sexy and initiating fun in the relationship/encouraging spouse to also grow/evolve positively. Having heart to heart conversations with one's spouse etc...

But sometimes, when some things are over, they are just that, over. You can really only do so much. I wish her the best of luck.

Well said Kala and we the women must remember those attributes that attracted the man in the first place and keep them going. They need couples therapy to help refocus.

Originally Posted by kolinzo

She has not caught him cheating on her, she only found the problem in the relationship. It seems the husband wants to work on the marriage even as he has fallen out of love (the fact that the husband is still in the marriage should give her the clue that he ain't want none of that divorce stuff). Somebody should recommend Mr. & Mrs. to the woman maybe she might b inspired. She has the advantage.

And please under no circumstance she should listen to the wetinhusbandgodo crew if she truly loves her husband as she claims. She should not confront the husband instead console him. The husband is going through a phase and will get back to the man she knew before the new man. There are many paths to the market. You have the smooth ones and the rough ones; the quick ones and the long ones; but they all lead to the same market. She must be very careful in this delicate matter. She should choose her path, carefully and wisely.

I can't help but at the bold