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36 years without a man

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amamellow

Well-Known Member
#1
would you be worried , if you are 36 years and have no man in your life?
would you just say ,
God has a purpose in your life so will wait for the rite time or you will be desperate and go and search for a man?
we know back home your family will start getting worried when you are that age and no man has come to ask for your hand in marriage ,
also they say men are very scared to approach such women sometimes because of their wealth and and their level of education and so on,

some people also blame the ladies saying they have set high standards for themselves thats why no man is approaching them, others think maybe they have been used by men and dumped so nobody wants them now


was listening to this program on radio and was just thinking, why is our society thinking like that , because if you are 40 and not married is not a crime abi?
 

Flawless

Well-Known Member
#2
I will be worried don't wanna reach 30 without being married. Right now I just wanna settle down with man. Don't want my kids to call me Granma!
 

Pretty Girl

Well-Known Member
#3
huh, 36 without a man............huh, to be honest, I would be worried...at least if not for anything, but for my kids sake as Flawless already stated.
 

jamaicayute

Naija Movie Lovah
#4
amamellow said:
would you be worried , if you are 36 years and have no man in your life?
would you just say ,
God has a purpose in your life so will wait for the rite time or you will be desperate and go and search for a man?
we know back home your family will start getting worried when you are that age and no man has come to ask for your hand in marriage ,
also they say men are very scared to approach such women sometimes because of their wealth and and their level of education and so on,

some people also blame the ladies saying they have set high standards for themselves thats why no man is approaching them, others think maybe they have been used by men and dumped so nobody wants them now


was listening to this program on radio and was just thinking, why is our society thinking like that , because if you are 40 and not married is not a crime abi?
I hope you can handle thsi when it picks up a life of its own withe the Monday people.
My opinion. Its the double edges sword of life we have to contend with. Welive in society and as such have to accept the fact that there are expectations and customs, but we do not have to be defined by them in our own particular circumstance.
Many times those who are forcing you(or whomever) into this particular institution are not even happy with their own condition but consider the tradition of harrassment and pressure. At the end of the day you(or whomever) have to decide whats in your best interest and have teh backbone to stand up to your decision.
 

amamellow

Well-Known Member
#5
why not jm, this was a dicussion on a radio station, and wanted to read what people think , was just wondering why women of such age goes through this, i think in some situations maybe the rite man has not come along, pushing them will land them in a more serious situation
jamaicayute said:
I hope you can handle thsi when it picks up a life of its own withe the Monday people.
My opinion. Its the double edges sword of life we have to contend with. Welive in society and as such have to accept the fact that there are expectations and customs, but we do not have to be defined by them in our own particular circumstance.
Many times those who are forcing you(or whomever) into this particular institution are not even happy with their own condition but consider the tradition of harrassment and pressure. At the end of the day you(or whomever) have to decide whats in your best interest and have teh backbone to stand up to your decision.
 

chi

Well-Known Member
#6
Flawless said:
I will be worried don't wanna reach 30 without being married. Right now I just wanna settle down with man. Don't want my kids to call me Granma!
u see know lady wants to be single till 30 at least most that i know but life sometimes throw u unexpected circumstance that could leave u at the corridor. A lady at 21 could start dating Mr A and at 28/29 something could go wrong. A lady/Guy could be well schooled with a good character all the right in it's proportion and get messed up , death could also be a blow , so many issues of life do play a big factor to the delay. For a lady u could be ready as underlined above but u've got to wait to be approached by the right person except if u want to settle for any thing .... I often tell my single friends that are waiting for Gods direction not to get themselves worried because it is God who has allowed them to remain single till that age just keep doing the right thing , get your self packaged well at the right time God will settle you and even compensate . Always look at where u are going and not where you are b/c marriage is more of a spiritual thing and one needs divine intervention
 

KikisMuffin

I no get ya time!!
#9
jamaicayute said:
I hope you can handle thsi when it picks up a life of its own withe the Monday people.My opinion. Its the double edges sword of life we have to contend with. Welive in society and as such have to accept the fact that there are expectations and customs, but we do not have to be defined by them in our own particular circumstance.
Many times those who are forcing you(or whomever) into this particular institution are not even happy with their own condition but consider the tradition of harrassment and pressure. At the end of the day you(or whomever) have to decide whats in your best interest and have teh backbone to stand up to your decision.
:roll :roll :roll :roll @ bolded. Monday people have arrived!
 

KikisMuffin

I no get ya time!!
#10
Jamaicayute and Chi said it all. You would be worried but sometimes things in life dont work out as expected, and it might not be through any fault of yours.Regardless you shouldnt let the pressure of society get to you, you might jump into one really bad marraige out of desperation. You must feel worthy of yourself regardless, as I'm sure God didnt bring ou into this world just to marry!So hang on to your other purposes in life and let the love flow!

This whole love, marriage business sef don dey tire person, wtf am I doing in this forum:confused: smokin: :)
 

bluestocking

Well-Known Member
#13
I dont think everyone in life has been called to marriage. Some people will never get married, it doesnt mean that they are failures. It only means that they should enjoy thier lives, whether they are married or not.
 

KikisMuffin

I no get ya time!!
#14
bluestocking said:
I dont think everyone in life has been called to marriage. Some people will never get married, it doesnt mean that they are failures. It only means that they should enjoy thier lives, whether they are married or not.

I concur grinning:
 
#15
bluestocking said:
I dont think everyone in life has been called to marriage. Some people will never get married, it doesnt mean that they are failures. It only means that they should enjoy thier lives, whether they are married or not.

Go point there!

I don't understand why marriage or no marriage equates to success. Look i've seen it all..i've seen people you thot cos they got married at 25 they are better than everyone else..yet at 32, thye are divorced/widowed. Man proposes, God disposes. Until a good man finds you, pls don't worry what someone else is doing because if u marry becasue eveyrone else is, when trouble starts, it might only start for you and not for those you were trying to compete wiht. it's better to be single than to be married and miserable.
 
D

dododudu

Guest
#16
Dearest said:
Go point there!

I don't understand why marriage or no marriage equates to success. Look i've seen it all..i've seen people you thot cos they got married at 25 they are better than everyone else..yet at 32, thye are divorced/widowed. Man proposes, God disposes. Until a good man finds you, pls don't worry what someone else is doing because if u marry becasue eveyrone else is, when trouble starts, it might only start for you and not for those you were trying to compete wiht. it's better to be single than to be married and miserable.
You simply summarized what every single woman should keep in the center of their hearts and heads!!

And bluestocking said it all too.

Some people are simply SCARED of marriage!!! I know I used to be!!!! When my peers were all rushing to be Mrs. to doctors or to "the guy from good family", I hardened my heart!!! I actually almost succumbed but ran off before the palm wine jugs reached my house!!! (For those who may say its personal story here now, you will still read it in an interview soon anyway) And those same friends are the ones bugging me now to coem stay a while (what are they running from, shebi they wanted to be Mrs. by hook or crook?) Few seem happy, but most envy my independence and freedom to do what I like and travel where I want to. One or two has confessed to me that they wish they didnt have kids, or they would have left their marriages!!! OK, with all these stories from marriages that are less than 5 years old, does it now seem like a good idea if you dont have your soulmate by your side to jump into marriage?

Anyway, everyone is not cut out for marriage! And instead of staying miserable, I believe staying single and happy and purposeful and 'useful' to the society is better than the society having another frustrated, mad woman/man on its hands!

DPnt get me wrong. Marriage is a lovely thing, I know it, and I am doing it soon, but its simply because I believe he is worth the wait, nothing more.
 
#19
EstellaCouture said:
worried, but not desperate to hook any woman right?
Worried, desparate, I don't think any of it will matter at this point. This will be a different series of Left Behind. Or I just might take a trip back to Naija and have those Babas do some rituals :spin2: :) .
 

Ayesha

InaAni - Classic Beauty
#20
chi said:
u see know lady wants to be single till 30 at least most that i know but life sometimes throw u unexpected circumstance that could leave u at the corridor. A lady at 21 could start dating Mr A and at 28/29 something could go wrong. A lady/Guy could be well schooled with a good character all the right in it's proportion and get messed up , death could also be a blow , so many issues of life do play a big factor to the delay. For a lady u could be ready as underlined above but u've got to wait to be approached by the right person except if u want to settle for any thing .... I often tell my single friends that are waiting for Gods direction not to get themselves worried because it is God who has allowed them to remain single till that age just keep doing the right thing , get your self packaged well at the right time God will settle you and even compensate . Always look at where u are going and not where you are b/c marriage is more of a spiritual thing and one needs divine intervention
Well said Chi.. Advice I give all my friends and myself..MARRY FOR LOVE AND THE RIGHT REASONS... It does not matter if you are 21 or if you are 52. Dont rush into ANYTHING no matter how sweet or good it is.. First of all OFFER your relationship to GOD, He will PROTECT it and he will guide you.. Be FRIENDS, first of all and develop TRUE LOVE, TRUST, and COMMITMENT to each other..

Don't set one of your life goals to be marraige, just love yourself, know who you are, have substance in your life, and be honest with yourself. Dont live a promiscuous life because that stuff will come back to HUNT you...Just be you and the right man will come thru your door..
 
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