By Sun News Publishing Sunday, February 14, 2010 ONCE you’re in a relationship, those cute nice-for-no-reason actions (like the spontaneous pinch on the butt or a cocktail after a long day) tend to fall by the wayide. After a while, that stuff seems superfluous, unnecessary, even cheesy, right? The problem is, without a steady influx of sweet deeds, your bond can begin to wither. “Guys look to their mates to be the one person in their life who’s supportive and can cut through the BS that they get all day,” says Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of Emotional Fitness for Couples. “The smallest favours can make a man feel sexy, connected to you, and accepted for who he really is.” Since those are the very things men want in a relationship, tender actions reinforce your tie on a deep core level. Guys revel in routines, and a steady flow of these little wow-she-really-thought-to-do-that? Moves will get him used to the fact that loving gestures aren’t to be made sparingly. When he sees you regularly in this thoughtful light, it’ll trigger has impulse to respond in kind. You don’t even have to go overboard to send the message. In fact, guys are wary of displays of too much effort because they think you’ll expect an even grander response in return, says Goldsmith. So get started with this list of fast and easy hits that’ll jolt his heart… and leave you two more in love than ever. • Whenever you introduce him to people, subtly brag about a skill or interest he’s proud of, like “this is Mark, and since I know you both like motocross, you have to hear his story.” • Invent a holiday that gives you an excuse to chow down on your favourite guilty pleasures, like First-Friday Cookiefest, Cinco de Nachos, or Ice Cream Brownie Sundays. •Swap your usual one-note body spray for a subtle fragrance with oriental, musk, amber, or gardenia notes – they’ll tap in to his craving for variety in your relationship. When he notices, reply “Hey, I’m just full of surprises, aren’t I?” • Be the spoon-er instead of the spoon-ee • When he’s cranky, silently hand him his favourite cocktail, snack, or escapist magazine. Then disappear. The treat shows you care, and voluntarily vanishing gives him space to be grumpy and work through things n his own … Plus, you don’t have to weather his pissy mood. • Treat him to a slow hand massage. It really occurs to guys to relax overused body parts, so working those millions of nerve endings will practically make him pass out. •Buy him a big, manly flashlight or batteries for his 17 remote controls – objects that embrace the guy he is (versus a new shirt, which insinuates that he needs improvement). •When you’re at a swanky restaurant, give his wine pick a glowing review. He’ll love the compliment to his incredibly good taste. •Stack the DVD-rental queue with his top five movies of all time. • Restock his stash of grooming products when he runs low. Or the next time you’re at a store’s fragrance department, pick up testers of his favourite so he won’t have to replace his as quickly. •Prolong a routine hug, breathe in deeply, and sexily murmur, “you smell mmm.” •Keep a set of beer mugs in your freezer4. Never underestimate the amount of love and appreciation that an icy, frothed brew on a hot summer day inspires. •Write something sappy, like “You get me all steamed up” on his foggy bathroom mirror. The next few times he takes a shower, the message will appear. •When he gets home after completing a big project or delivering a nerve-wracking presentation at work, have a congratulations dinner set up in the backyard, and toast with his favourite six-pack. •Rock the nice panties-and-a-tee-shirt outfit anytime you’re hanging out with him, whether you’re scooping ice cream or playing video games. Casual, partial mudity is always appreciated. • Instead of jumping in his lap for a kiss or gushing all over him when you meet him out with friends, give him a clandestine whack on the butt. His friends won’t notice it (or give him hell for it later), but he’ll know you’re psyched to see him. • When you’re favourite pouring yourself a cup of coffee, bring him one too, fixed the way he likes it. •Give his favourite video game an upgrade – and his supper-hero/tough-guy ego a boost – by downloading the latest updates online, like new maps for Halo 3. •Run your hand – palms down, fingers spread and slightly bent so your fingernails make light contact – from the base of his neck to the crown of his head. Stimulating this sensitive and often neglected spot feels absolutely amazing. • Find a photo booth, and take one strip of silly self-portraits (to stick to his refrigerator) and one strip of sexy poses (to keep in his wallet). • Any hack can dash out an emoticon-ladene-email, so snail-mail him a love note or even a thoughtful or funny card to his workplace. • Plan a like to help him clear his head when you know he’s stressing out. Pack some supplies for s’mores or a bottle of wine to split when you reach your destination. • Carve out a corner in your pantry for “his” snacks •Take any skill you’ve picked up from him – low to rewire a lamp, grow tomatoes, throw a dart – and flaunt it at every opportunity. • Demonstrate your understanding of what really matters by getting his beloved pooch a bandanna (note: not a pink one). • If you share a computer with your guy, set a random date and time for a notice to pop up and read “See you soon, sexy.” •Buy him a pair of boxers or briefs. Put them in his drawer with a note that reads “You won’t be wearing these for long tonight.” • Present him with a DVD of the game when his favourite team won the World Series/Super Bowl/Stanley Cup/Final Four… even if it happened before he was born. •Paste a temporary tattoo of his name inside a heart on your inner thigh. •Cop a sneaky feel. Graze his ass with a pinch just as he’s about to sit down next to you. • Make up a secret signal (touching your eyeglasses, hooking a thumb in a certain belt loop, using the word celery in conversation) that you can use at parties, clubs, or work functions to silently call for a rescue. •Stir up a swanky cocktail like the one you shared on vacation, during a special occasion like New Year’s Eve, or on a hilarious date. Serve it with a regular dinner, and clink glasses to the memory. • Wear one of his favourite old tee shirts. •Make out with him – on the couch, at the movies, in your backyard, on a roller coaster, etc. Keeping the action above the belt for a while builds anticipation and ultimately heightens the pleasure for both of you whenever it is you finally give in and go all the way. • Surprise him by wearing undies with his favourite team’s logo on the day of a big game. Trust us, he’ll love seeing the mascot on your ass. • Send him a link to a crazy-expensive, luxurious travel spot he’d love, with a note like “When we’re rich and famous, this goes to the top of our vacation list.” • Play Scattergories, but make your own list of topics he’s an expert at: “Places we’ve had sex,” “Things you can deep fry.” “People who are annoying,” etc. •Resist the temptation to laugh at (and take pictures of) his lobster look after too much sun, and instead offer to pamper him with a gentle aloe massage. •Scratch his back when you watch TV together •• Give his next gift in recycled wrapping that hints at what else he’d like. Think a bag from his favourite fast-food joint (with logoed napkins as tissue paper) with baseball tickets inside, cufflinks tucked into a mac-and-cheese box, etc. • Swap prom pictures, and laugh until your faces hurt. •If you’re planning the date, send picture-text clues about the evening’s activities to him throughout the day to show you put in effort just for him. •When he’s stressing about getting a present for a boss or female relative, offer to help. Send him links to the best online stuff so all he has to do is choose and click. • Quietly whisper something – anything – in his car when you’re out with friends. Even if the message is simply “Will you order another cocktail for me?” a sexy rasp will make him picture other secret stuff you can do in private later. •In over-top-way, narrate a steamy scene from a trashy look you’re reading. •Tap in to his memories of great summer getaways as a kid, and set up a tent in the backyard or lay out a tarp so you can snooze under the stars in sleeping bags one balmy summer evening. • Before he goes on a flight, stash a great snack in his carry-on bag (it will beat those stale $8 onboard cocktail sandwiches any day of the week). • If your mum is a connoisseur of hot sauces or BBQ blends, leave an interesting bottle on the counter with a note reading “Thought you could whip up something delicious with this.” Or if he’s a grill guru, get him some fragrant mesquite chips he can use the next time he fires up. • At least once a month, find a spot and enjoy the sunset. There’s something sexy and synchronizing about watching the sun slip under the horizon together. The Sun News On-line| It’s Valentine some lovely lovers' tips.