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Choosing to date within your own race-Does that make you racist?

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kaymax

Well-Known Member
#1
You choose to date or marry within your own race, does that make you racist or is are you entitled to your 'preference'?
 

kaymax

Well-Known Member
#3
Not racist one bit. Everyone is entitled to his/her own preference! IMHO that is!
My feelings exactly, however, I was talking to a colleague, an older Jewish caucasian male, and he actually thought it is lack of 'higher cognitive development' as he put it, to limit yourself to just one race and that people should have the ability to be open minded about other cultures. While I understand his point, I disagreed that one is not smart or 'cognitively developed' if one chooses to stay in her/his own race when looking for a mate. While I told him that I can see his point and understand it, he said I was not 'evolved' enough. Oh well!!
 

Gen Sani Abacha

Well-Known Member
#4
My feelings exactly, however, I was talking to a colleague, an older Jewish caucasian male, and he actually thought it is lack of 'higher cognitive development' as he put it, to limit yourself to just one race and that people should have the ability to be open minded about other cultures. While I understand his point, I disagreed that one is not smart or 'cognitively developed' if one chooses to stay in her/his own race when looking for a mate. While I told him that I can see his point and understand it, he said I was not 'evolved' enough. Oh well!!
Funnily enough, I have had similar conversations with friends/colleagues/acquaintances of Asian/Carribean/European etc origin regardles of gender, who have the exact same mindset as your Jewish caucasian male colleague. To be honest, I conside their stance as the bigoted, narrow-minded one. I'd say those who marry/date within their own race shouldn't point fingers at those who choose to cross the cultural/racial boundaries for love. Conversely, those who cross cultural/racial boundaries shouldn't point fingers at those who stay within the race/culture. Live and let live I say!
 

kaymax

Well-Known Member
#5
Funnily enough, I have had similar conversations with friends/colleagues/acquaintances of Asian/Carribean/European etc origin regardles of gender, who have the exact same mindset as your Jewish caucasian male colleague. To be honest, I conside their stance as the bigoted, narrow-minded one. I'd say those who marry/date within their own race shouldn't point fingers at those who choose to cross the cultural/racial boundaries for love. Conversely, those who cross cultural/racial boundaries shouldn't point fingers at those who stay within the race/culture. Live and let live I say!
That's the irony, when did loving your own race and choosing to only date in that race become racist? Additionally, I remember when some people were hatin' on black men because they chose to go out of their race, now I find a lot of black women and getting flack from others because most chose to still remain within the black race, though that too, is changing. You're damned if you do.....
 

Gen Sani Abacha

Well-Known Member
#6
That's the irony, when did loving your own race and choosing to only date in that race become racist? Additionally, I remember when some people were hatin' on black men because they chose to go out of their race, now I find a lot of black women and getting flack from others because most chose to still remain within the black race, though that too, is changing. You're damned if you do.....
...damned if you don't! Best do your thing as long as you're not harming anybody(or sinning against God)...Can't live another person's life, so let the critics criticise and go on living your life...:D That's how I do...:D
 

blackbutterfly

Well-Known Member
#7
My feelings exactly, however, I was talking to a colleague, an older Jewish caucasian male, and he actually thought it is lack of 'higher cognitive development' as he put it, to limit yourself to just one race and that people should have the ability to be open minded about other cultures. While I understand his point, I disagreed that one is not smart or 'cognitively developed' if one chooses to stay in her/his own race when looking for a mate. While I told him that I can see his point and understand it, he said I was not 'evolved' enough. Oh well!!
I am slightly surprised that this arguement came from Jewish man because their community is notorious for strongly advocating marrying within the community. Even those who are reformists and even some non practicing Jews that marry outside will ask the non-Jewish partner to convert. I am still waiting for when an Orthodox Jew in Borough Park will marry a Jamaican woman from Flatbush. People will always stick to what is comfortable for them, no harm no foul but there are those too who like to step outside of their comfort zone and accept love where ever love finds them.
 

kaymax

Well-Known Member
#8
I am slightly surprised that this arguement came from Jewish man because their community is notorious for strongly advocating marrying within the community. Even those who are reformists and even some non practicing Jews that marry outside will ask the non-Jewish partner to convert. I am still waiting for when an Orthodox Jew in Borough Park will marry a Jamaican woman from Flatbush. People will always stick to what is comfortable for them, no harm no foul but there are those too who like to step outside of their comfort zone and accept love where ever love finds them.
You know you're right, however, recently here in South Florida, I have been seeing so many Caucasian male black female couples (don't know if the males are Jewish, of course), but it seems like black women are starting to step out now and embracing different races. I just don't see how it's by force, but this man ONLY dates black women anyhow, that's a known fact in the area. Anyhow, for each his own, It just prompted me to start thinking because he's not the first person to have told me that, and I'm sure he won't be the last.
 

blackbutterfly

Well-Known Member
#9
You know you're right, however, recently here in South Florida, I have been seeing so many Caucasian male black female couples (don't know if the males are Jewish, of course), but it seems like black women are starting to step out now and embracing different races. I just don't see how it's by force, but this man ONLY dates black women anyhow, that's a known fact in the area. Anyhow, for each his own, It just prompted me to start thinking because he's not the first person to have told me that, and I'm sure he won't be the last.

Actually, it appeared at one point that black women were the last group on the planet who were still stuck on the "I am only interested in a black man" mentality especially African-American women; however, recently, I have been reading on a lot of AFAM blogs that AFAM women are tired of sticking by black men while they exercise their right to choose whomever they want and it is not just the rich black brothas that are chosing to look outside of their race to find love, the around-the-way brothas are doing it as well. AFAM/Caribbean/African women are doing their own thang too and I say BRAVO to them, why not!!! Sometimes, the one for you is NOT the one you expect.
 

tunmi

Active Member
#10
The word "racist" has been abused so many times it is ridiculous. And I refuse to regard ethnicity as race

Some people stick to their own people for various reason. For me it's the language. I love Yoruba and pidgin like no other. And the food, oh my gosh the food :). Hunger sef don catch me.

I don't think it makes people racist, it's not denying you economical benefits unless that is your job. Then no vex. My own be say find whomever you want, as long as you're happy enjoy yourself.
 

Dsampler

Well-Known Member
#11
Actually, it appeared at one point that black women were the last group on the planet who were still stuck on the "I am only interested in a black man" mentality especially African-American women; however, recently, I have been reading on a lot of AFAM blogs that AFAM women are tired of sticking by black men while they exercise their right to choose whomever they want and it is not just the rich black brothas that are chosing to look outside of their race to find love, the around-the-way brothas are doing it as well. AFAM/Caribbean/African women are doing their own thang too and I say BRAVO to them, why not!!! Sometimes, the one for you is NOT the one you expect.
What?????????
Like...............I have no idea what is being said up here.
 
#12
The word "racist" has been abused so many times it is ridiculous. And I refuse to regard ethnicity as race

Some people stick to their own people for various reason. For me it's the language. I love Yoruba and pidgin like no other. And the food, oh my gosh the food :). Hunger sef don catch me.

I don't think it makes people racist, it's not denying you economical benefits unless that is your job. Then no vex. My own be say find whomever you want, as long as you're happy enjoy yourself.
I could understand about the language but you lost me at the food part :lol So you wouldn't give someone of another ethnicity/race a chance because of Naija food? AHHHHhh our food sweet but dang lol. Let me even take that back, languages can be learned. I have a family member married to a Eastern European man who is now speaking Efik AND pidgin, and there is no Naija food he will not eat - peppersoup with the same amount of pepper as the rest of us and not some no-pepper peppersoup o, jollof, suya, moi-moi, he LOVES egusi soup and fufu (in fact, he doesn't like garri or semolina), he wants real cassava fufu. When I met the guy and saw him knocking back peppersoup and palm wine, I had to slap my jaws back close. Sha, I say this to say, you shouldn't disqualify someone because of language or foods, those are learnable (is there such a word) things...my dear, the love of your life might be a Chinese multilinguist willing to take on Yoruba and Pidgin and eat Efo!:roll :roll
 

Gen Sani Abacha

Well-Known Member
#13
I could understand about the language but you lost me at the food part :lol So you wouldn't give someone of another ethnicity/race a chance because of Naija food? AHHHHhh our food sweet but dang lol. Let me even take that back, languages can be learned. I have a family member married to a Eastern European man who is now speaking Efik AND pidgin, and there is no Naija food he will not eat - peppersoup with the same amount of pepper as the rest of us and not some no-pepper peppersoup o, jollof, suya, moi-moi, he LOVES egusi soup and fufu (in fact, he doesn't like garri or semolina), he wants real cassava fufu. When I met the guy and saw him knocking back peppersoup and palm wine, I had to slap my jaws back close. Sha, I say this to say, you shouldn't disqualify someone because of language or foods, those are learnable (is there such a word) things...my dear, the love of your life might be a Chinese multilinguist willing to take on Yoruba and Pidgin and eat Efo!:roll :roll
Some years ago, I met a Chinese babe in a Naija restaurant in London, she was speaking Yoruba with her Naija companions, and it was real Naija Yoruba...She had never set foot in Naija and learnt it from being around Nigerians. She spoke English like the Brits as well...Needless to say I was impressed with her Yoruba and just conversed with her a bit. It's been a few years now and I still remember her.
 

kaymax

Well-Known Member
#14
Some years ago, I met a Chinese babe in a Naija restaurant in London, she was speaking Yoruba with her Naija companions, and it was real Naija Yoruba...She had never set foot in Naija and learnt it from being around Nigerians. She spoke English like the Brits as well...Needless to say I was impressed with her Yoruba and just conversed with her a bit. It's been a few years now and I still remember her.
Ehen, mai General, just how 'impressed' were you with this 'babe'? Sure na just small gist you 'conversed'?
 

kaymax

Well-Known Member
#16
I could understand about the language but you lost me at the food part :lol So you wouldn't give someone of another ethnicity/race a chance because of Naija food? AHHHHhh our food sweet but dang lol. Let me even take that back, languages can be learned. I have a family member married to a Eastern European man who is now speaking Efik AND pidgin, and there is no Naija food he will not eat - peppersoup with the same amount of pepper as the rest of us and not some no-pepper peppersoup o, jollof, suya, moi-moi, he LOVES egusi soup and fufu (in fact, he doesn't like garri or semolina), he wants real cassava fufu. When I met the guy and saw him knocking back peppersoup and palm wine, I had to slap my jaws back close. Sha, I say this to say, you shouldn't disqualify someone because of language or foods, those are learnable (is there such a word) things...my dear, the love of your life might be a Chinese multilinguist willing to take on Yoruba and Pidgin and eat Efo!:roll :roll
the food thing kinda threw me too. You make some great points, BB. There are some people though that just are only attracted to their own race, like some say, only a brotha can make me do a double or a triple. At the same time, I certainly respect others that can expand their horizons. I do see it as a limitation, when one is unable to expand for whatever reasons, because you just never know where you may find love. But again, to each his/her own!
 

Gen Sani Abacha

Well-Known Member
#17
Ehen, mai General, just how 'impressed' were you with this 'babe'? Sure na just small gist you 'conversed'?
To be honest, I wasn't attracted to her in that way and was just intrigued by her Yoruba language ability...Curiousity alone dictated I chat with her...Anywayz, her Naija companions took her away so I didn't chat as long as I would have liked.
 

tunmi

Active Member
#18
Oh the food crosses all cultural boundaries. I don't date only within my ethnicity and I certainly don't stick to just Nigerian or African. When I'm with my Nigerians, being able to speak Yoruba or Pidgin freely is a plus, and the same goes for the other ethnicities. And of course the food is always a plus, again across all ethnicities. It's a plus for the Naija person and it can as well be a plus for the non-Naija/non-African person.
 

Village-Boi

Well-Known Member
#19
Oh the food crosses all cultural boundaries. I don't date only within my ethnicity and I certainly don't stick to just Nigerian or African. When I'm with my Nigerians, being able to speak Yoruba or Pidgin freely is a plus, and the same goes for the other ethnicities. And of course the food is always a plus, again across all ethnicities. It's a plus for the Naija person and it can as well be a plus for the non-Naija/non-African person.
I speak pidgin to everyone; try it and you'll see how interested most caucasians and others become.
 
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