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MAKING DECISIONS(Who takes charge?)

Discussion in 'LOVE, MARRIAGE, THE SEXES' started by vince, Feb 25, 2004.

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  1. vince

    vince Well-Known Member

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    One hears it time and again in discussions among naija or indeed african men that the male in a relationship(as in married couple)making decisions that affect both without having to consult the female counterpart is a mark of a real man.Is that so?
    Should the man assign the decision making only to himself without having to consider wether the female object or not.
    I'm raising this topic because i have come to observe that the european males who are in a relationship(especially married ones)never do anything without consulting their females.Is this a sign of weakness or mordern way of acting.
    Your views.
     
  2. bigmomma

    bigmomma Well-Known Member

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    ah if the decision will affect both of the parties invovled why not?
     
  3. jenzi

    jenzi Active Member

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    A they say two heads is better than one. There is nothing macho about it. It depends as well what sort of decision we are talking about.
     
  4. Poison

    Poison Registered

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    African men and egocentrism!
     
  5. Ronky

    Ronky Guest

    I believe a dat men needs 2 contact their wives b4 major decisions is taken in a relationship but men are suspicious tehy wouldn't tell their wives everything
     
  6. Beyonce

    Beyonce MOther b4 mother

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    me jo, holla:D
     
  7. Tease'N'Tan

    Tease'N'Tan TOO HOT AS ALWAYS :)

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    i hate the word "Take Charge" in a relationship, such word shouldnt even exist, even if it does, nobody should have to put it out there as "I am the on in Charge in the relationship" unless they are insane. you can tough to your friends, people out there but when it come to your relationship, you should calm your ass down, there is no competition in a relationship and pride and ego is simply like a toxic chemical in the garden of love.

    here is my advice, when two people first get together, if you are paying attention, you should automatically know the strong area in which each individual good at. if one person is good with accounting and or money, most likely that they should make a decision in a situation where money is involve or financial aspect of the relationship. if the other person is good with people, making friends, you should let that person take charge of what should be given to all your friends for xmas or some shit like that. you balance each out without disrespecting each other and without putting on each others face that "you are always gonna make a good candidate to finailize decisions"

    the overall outcome should be, no matter how good you think you are in making any decision and no matter how you think your judgement on some situation will be much better, just consult your significant other first, not because you feel, you have to or your sees it as idiot idea, but simply see it as respect for each other, consideration, Teamwork and not making them feel left out.

    peace
     
  8. Beyonce

    Beyonce MOther b4 mother

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    Re: Re: MAKING DECISIONS(Who takes charge?)








    WORDDDDDDDDDDDD U this gurllllllll, i know ur azzzzzzzz:D HOLLA
     
  9. Tease'N'Tan

    Tease'N'Tan TOO HOT AS ALWAYS :)

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    Re: Re: Re: MAKING DECISIONS(Who takes charge?)


    HAHHA, girllllllllllll i can screen ur ass too, i know ur ass girlfriend :D :D
     
  10. Thickmadam

    Thickmadam OHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHH!!

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    in my opinion..

    i think that that behaviour is changing.
    Most of the younger Nigerian males do not think that way anymore.
    I know of young couples where the men in the relationships talk over with their wives/girlfriends before any big major decision is made.
    This is not to say that the whole "I-AM-THE-MAN-AND-I-WILL-MAKE-THE-DECISION" mentality is not there. It's still there but thankfully it is not an acceptable practice.

    Now to answer your question: No, it is not the mark of a real man. Should a real man not take pride in the fact that he actually listens to his woman and seeks her advice? That he thinks highly enough of the woman he has chosen to spend the rest of his life with to make major decisions with her?
     
  11. Beyonce

    Beyonce MOther b4 mother

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    Re: Re: Re: Re: MAKING DECISIONS(Who takes charge?)

    CYDMAN PM. HOLLA:mad:
     
  12. Sifu

    Sifu Well-Known Member

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    Not a sign of weakness at all. It simply shows that he respects her opinions and that she is a part of the important decisions that need to be made. Though there will be times that both might need to let the other have their way, it is important that decisions, especially those that affect you both should be talked about. Not wanting her opinion at all in anything, I think, shows insecurity in a man. Your wife making decisions does not make you less than a man. Getting intimidated by her decisions just shows that you are not secure in your manhood.
     
  13. vince

    vince Well-Known Member

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    Just Digging

    What do new members think about this issue?
     
  14. adbabie

    adbabie Active Member

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    It's all about support and respect for each other in a relationship and even marriage. Some men (Nigerian apply) are yet to view women as their equal (your are still the man and will always be, but equal in terms of partnership)hence there is a lack of support and respect there - if you respect and support your woman of course you should nd will no doubt have her opinion in matters that will eventually affect you and her in the long run.
     
  15. hafseedee

    hafseedee music lover

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    well i dont think is a sighn of weakness not at all. i mean i dont know how naija men do their things but according my experince i think that this generation should try and do things differently. men always took charge B4 it has to change NOW. A female has a say in every relationship because it takes two baby. if the deciton has to do with the family then i say include her.is not weakness anymore is called illitracy and selfishness. WHY do men thik so superior of them selve GEEEEEEEEEEEEEzzzzzzzzz.....
     
  16. youngblood

    youngblood Active Member

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    In my opinion, decision making is a two way street (compromise) .... coupled with the 'competency' factor... i.e., who is better placed to make the decision at that time? It should have nothing to do with the couple's gender.
     
  17. Gen Sani Abacha

    Gen Sani Abacha SUPREME DICTATOR

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    Of course it is :imp
    The man is the Big Cahuna, Head Honcho, Top Dawggg, Lord of the Manor, Master of all he SURVEYS :p :p :p, and all dem females better know their place !!! :excite

    ciao
     
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