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Marrying From Home

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#1
Questions for anyone, but expecailly to my ladies...would you guys go home and marry a guy from there.and bring them abroad....feel free to make any comments.....
"but dont bite my head off...is just a question"



anne
 

blackbutterfly

Well-Known Member
#2
Heaven Forbid! Lai!Lai! Personally, the only way I would do that is if dem put juju for me. I make it known right away, if you don't have your papers please don't bother saying more than hello, discussing the weather and politics. Any romantic outreach will be politely shut down instantly. I have seen hearts brokens and dreams dashed because someone thought they were in love and doing their best for their loved ones not knowing they were being used. I know my personality. I am too pretty to end up in jail
 

bollyd

moda b4 moda!
#3
blackbutterfly said:
Heaven Forbid! Lai!Lai! Personally, the only way I would do that is if dem put juju for me. I make it known right away, if you don't have your papers please don't bother saying more than hello, discussing the weather and politics. Any romantic outreach will be politely shut down instantly. I have seen hearts brokens and dreams dashed because someone thought they were in love and doing their best for their loved ones not knowing they were being used. I know my personality. I am too pretty to end up in jail

my dear sister you do have a point right there and i do agree with u, but think of it this way, wat if it is God's will for you to do so, i mean go take a man to be your husband from home?
 

blackbutterfly

Well-Known Member
#4
bollyd said:
my dear sister you do have a point right there and i do agree with u, but think of it this way, wat if it is God's will for you to do so, i mean go take a man to be your husband from home?
God wey see my suffering to make myself something in this country no go punish me like that..he's a JUST and merciful God. At the same time wetin God give me will never be kpoto-kpoto so I will have no fear of losers and users husbands. I pray for God's will in my life and if na so, I know say he will never lead me wrong.
 

NTB

Well-Known Member
#5
No every Nigerian in Nigeria want to reside in America. I wanna relocate to Nigeria and spend more time there. 60% there and 40% here. I can marry a guy in Nigeria and move to Nigeria. If the dude want to come here he better go find visa.
 

sharon

Active Member
#6
aamad12 said:
Questions for anyone, but expecailly to my ladies...would you guys go home and marry a guy from there.and bring them abroad....
naww, there are enough nigerian guys here. i don't need some guy gettin' married to me 'cause he wants papers, i'd rather not get married at all.
 
#7
I personally will never do it (marry a girl from home and bring her abroad). I've seen people who did that and it backfired in their faces. I know some people that had lived in England for over 20 yrs and even own their homes. But when they went back home and married these so called wives (no offence ladies), they lost everything. When the women understood the western way of life, they accused their husbands of domestic violence and claimed the properties (especially couples with young children). Having seen these women in action, I believe marrying a girl from home and bringing her abroad is a road to self destruction.

Sorry girls, that's the way life goes.
 

grafikdon

Well-Known Member
#8
Marry from home, marry from bush...haba! If your wife has jello instead of brains, if she got picles instead of a heart...she will rip out ya innards, smear it with butter and eat em without puking.

Life is a gamble peeps...there's never any guarantee but we all HOPE the worst will never occur. You can go to heaven and marry...heck you can even go to Jupiter but at the end of the day, it will all boil down to whether she will feed you with cakes full of mouth watering vanilla fudge or cakes with charred bat testicles and crushed beer bottles.

Take it and digest.

Doesn't matter where I get a wife...home, bush, Ajegunle, Okiripoto,Ikworikwo,Imeziowa... women na the same just different skin tones and different body contours :biggrinsa .
 

grafikdon

Well-Known Member
#9
I thought a lot of our women that got sucked into the 'western' world were arrogant until this dude came with his 'home grown' wife. I am not trying to be sarcastic here but this woman didn't even step her foot here for a sec and she wants to show that she knows everything. She'd come with the dumbest argument and when you try to tell her politely that 'ain't nuthing like that here' she wouldn't budge. I just waved the whole thing aside...heck you can take a bushlady outta the bush...good luck taking the bush outta her.

Usually it takes A LOT to get me boiling but in her case, she could get me vehemently struggling to stifle four letter words just in a few seconds.
I couln't find a more perfect definition of anoyance :rolleyes: :eyes rolleye:
 

Hubscrown

Well-Known Member
#10
My goodness, you guys are like putting salt into my garri. My girl is in Naija, although I'm vexing about her flashing me every other day to sit down on the phone with her. I thought I was safe with that aspect of phone since she far away over the ocean. I love her no doubt but, darn I wish I have think twice before starting another relationship. I dont need babysitting at this moment of my life when I got more than enough to deal with. I'm still clinging to her either she in Nigeria or not. Until I see any reason to say otherwise. Where are the independent women?
 

Abike

Well-Known Member
#11
Hmmmm...its not that I will be soooooo opposed to it, but it will be hard for me "schooling" someone about how life in Ame is, how to do this, how to do that, etc etc...BUT, if the hand of God is in it, i wont be oppossed to it....
 

gqbabe

Active Member
#12
blackbutterfly said:
God wey see my suffering to make myself something in this country no go punish me like that..he's a JUST and merciful God. At the same time wetin God give me will never be kpoto-kpoto so I will have no fear of losers and users husbands. I pray for God's will in my life and if na so, I know say he will never lead me wrong.
Amen garl Amen garl.

if u have a particular species of animals living together n for some reason they get divided n say live on opp side maybe divided by a river. After a few years, they dnt breed with each other because they are no longer exactly the same. diets might change, habitat etc.

The same applies. once you've left naija for a long time, the way u look at life might be totally different to some1 who lives there. And if u as a woman shd say ur opinion, the man n his ego wld get offended sayn u r actn up cos u got him there.

He might get there n even tell u he dnt love u no more n that he's found some1 better etc etc.

I believe God shall not let n e thing bad happen to us HIS daughters. AAAMMMMEEEENNNNNNNN!!!!!
 

Hubscrown

Well-Known Member
#13
Abike said:
Hmmmm...its not that I will be soooooo opposed to it, but it will be hard for me "schooling" someone about how life in Ame is, how to do this, how to do that, etc etc...BUT, if the hand of God is in it, i wont be oppossed to it....
You will be surprised that some Nigerian are very current with the trend of things in America. I have bunch of friends that the way they compose themselves they know what they are doing than friends I have here over 7yrs.
 

goseiant

Well-Known Member
#14
I think marrying in the diaspora or marrying from home is the same thing provided you trust the person you are getting married to. The people that live back home are just the same as those abroad. Some people think that marrying from home is better because those in the diaspora are more enlightened and will demand their right in everything, but those from home have more respect and they are serviceable. But I think that is plain ignorance, because I will rather get married to someone who is already enlightened than bring someone from home, who when they get to know how the system works will sometimes dump you. Unless you have already made a committment to someone back home, I think when you live abroad - marrying from home is a waste of money.
 

Abike

Well-Known Member
#15
true, true, but you cant tell me that the transition for someone from naija will be smoother for someone already liviing here, used to the system, and the way of things...the same way if i end up going to live in naija again, i will have to get used to a lot of things about naija...even though i grew up there, times and seasons change...


Hubscrown said:
You will be surprised that some Nigerian are very current with the trend of things in America. I have bunch of friends that the way they compose themselves they know what they are doing than friends I have here over 7yrs.
 

Aust_nne

Well-Known Member
#16
Marrying from home, marrying out of home does not make a difference.

The difference lies on the personalities of the couple in question. Do they have interwoven personal goals; do they share the same ideal about life, are they compatible to each other. bla bla bla......

U can still get married to a guy/chic abroad and yet he/she is a 3rd degree moron with a zilch idea of the world around you and what your beliefs are. A person that seems to be living a century behind you!


And did they not say! Love conquers all.
 

Pretty Girl

Well-Known Member
#18
angeleyez said:
Why not? The men back home are more serious than the ones here based on what I've seen.
I know...as long as they remain back at home, but if (God help them) they're able to come over here, huh...they become worst than the ones that were here all the while.
 

OlaMichael

Well-Known Member
#19
aamad12 said:
Questions for anyone, but expecailly to my ladies...would you guys go home and marry a guy from there.and bring them abroad....feel free to make any comments.....
"but dont bite my head off...is just a question"



anne
I apologise...but I have to say this... and perhaps I'll digress a little from the topic. But I see this trend on here (i.e. NR) too much and just thought I'd comment on it.

Is it me...or was this question edited? Cos if it was, then I can't see where it says that it was as it seems some people are answering a different question from the one asked. The lady asked a simple question. Would you guys go home and marry a guy from there and bring them abroad? I don't see anywhere were it says, would you marry someone who needs papers, or a visa etc.

Why do we always translate going home to marry as going home to marry someone who needs papers or or someone who can't wait to emigrate to the western world? Why do we always assume that everyone who has a partner abroad means their partner don't have papers? Or that they only want to get hooked so they can come live abroad? I know a lot of britsh and american nationals who live in Nigeria and have no intention (at least none demonstrated till date) of coming to live abroad. I know quite a no of guys and ladies (who don't even have british/american passports) in Nigeria who are a lot more civilised, open-minded and well-off than the average Nigerian guy who lives abroad....working a 9 - 5 job everyday fattening their bosses' pockets. For such... the person coming from abroad...will do a lot more from marrying them than they would from marrying those from abroad. If you marry any of these guys...they'll tell you they don't want to come live abroad!

Let's stop this rubbish of always thinking "I live abroad means, I am better than those who live in Nigeria". Cos you know what?? It is not! Or I am a britico/americana means that every non-britico/non-americana person who shows love and affections towards me is only doing so for ulterior motives. It's one thing to say that you won't go to Nigeria to marry simply because you may not know the person as much as you'd like...(given the differences in your location). But to assume that every Nigerian man or woman is after a stay... is tired, old and plain ridiculous. I am aware that there are those who do such things....and perhaps it's true...(I am speaking from personal experience now... as I was duped myself by a lady. Yes I met her here in the UK....and thought the love was mutual but unfortunately...it wasn't, she only wanted her papers... heart breaking...yes.. but I got my life back and moved on) But it doesn't mean that every Nigerian man or woman who does not have a "Pali" is only after that. People do get married for love and still do.

Having a british or american passport is not the greatest achievement. Let's stop soothing our ego (or should i say, pumping it) thinking that it is. We all live abroad and I know as a certainty...at least in the uk...that 80% of Nigerians living in the UK are struggling to keep up with bills. And I haven't included those without "pali". I am talking about those with papers and all. A lot don't know what it really means to enjoy the good things in life. They don't know what it's like to go out for a meal...go to the spa and relax... go on holidays... go out for a drink.... heck.. a lot of nigerian folks living abroad will not even take their partners/spouses out for a meal and spend a meagre £30-£50 on a good night out. What you'll hear is...with that money...I can do X Y and Z. For a lot of us in the diaspora...going on holiday means going home to Nigeria for Xmas or Easter or for a siblings wedding!! How boring is that? A lot of these Nigerians will be better off living in Nigeria...but because of pride...they keep living here...meanwhile...their colleagues back in Nigeria are breaking new grounds every day! Heck...a lot of folks in the UK are on benefits for crying out loud!

Nigerians in Nigeria are doing great. A classmate of mine in secondary school (FGCK) is one of the directors Guarantee trust bank. Another friend of mine (we shared the same room in Unilag for 3 years) is one of their systems/controls manager. These guys enjoy life that many of us in the diaspora...with our so-called "pali" can only dream of. Some of my friends in Nigeria have travelled far wider than loads of us in the diaspora. And I am not talking travelling for business purposes either...I am talking of going on holiday with their partners and families etc.

Let's answer the lady's question and stop assuming that marrying from nigeria means the guy or woman wants to come and carry all your money away...or that they only want a stay. I married a lady I met in England...yes she did that to me...and went her way...but life goes on. I picked myself up..and I am a better person now than I was b4 i met her.... but that won't stop me from marrying or having a relationship with another non-britico woman..if they are the person I love..and feel them in every way that matters....then I'll go for it. I am not stupid...I have learnt lesons from the past... but hey... life goes on.

Whether you marry someone from Nigeria or China or Uk or wherever does not guarantee that u'd be happy... what guarantees your hapinness is your love, commitments, understanding and the ability to forgive and make-up..etc etc.

Apologies for digressing...just had to let that out...;)
 
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