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MATURE: 10 dumb mistakes your boyfriend makes

Discussion in 'LOVE, MARRIAGE, THE SEXES' started by Dsampler, Jun 26, 2012.

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  1. Dsampler

    Dsampler D. Ultimate Naija Ruler

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    1. FORGETTING TO KISS YOU FIRST

    While it might turn you on if he goes straight for more sensual parts of your body, have u ever asked yourself, am I a hooker? Why is he going straight for the “couchie”?

    Unless he’s paying you by the hour, a proper passionate kiss is the best form of foreplay, always remember that.

    2. SQUEEZING YOUR BREAST LIKE ORANGES
    Most men act like they are trying to find out if their partner’s tits are silicon bags or naturally endowed. Testing an orange for ripeness should be left for the market place. When it comes to the issue of breasts, tell him to caress, pamper and stroke them. Trust me it makes the sex more fun

    3. TALKING NASTY AND DIRTY.
    You have to blame those overrated sex movies for this kinda shit. Leave nasty talk to sex chat lines. Nasty dirty talk should be done with the consent of the person you are shagging if not it makes you sound like a complete idiotic freak.

    4. “ARE YOU COMING”?
    Not really? I came like 5minutes ago. You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise when ejaculating and if you missed the time, just keep going, no need to ask.

    5. THANKING YOU AFTER SEX
    This makes him look desperate, needy and obnoxious. Thanking a woman after sex is like making it sound like she didn’t enjoy it. Women like sex as much as men. Men come one way, women? OK! They have clitoral, vaginal, blended, fullybody and psycholagnic orgasms. You get the gist?

    6. GOING ON LIKE A FORMULA-ONE DRIVER.
    Hey Buddy, are we in a race? She would one day ask you. In this penis-in-vagina situation, pumping away like an industrial power tool will make her feel like an assembly-line worker. Guys, its sex, not a car-race. Build up slowly, with straight, clean, regular thrusts. If she screams, “F@&#k me harder”, you know what to do!

    7. TAKING HIS PANTS OFF FIRST
    Imagine him taking his pants off before sex and then you notice he is wearing socks with Barbie/Pokeman characters printed on them. Next…….

    8. BITING YOUR NIPPLES
    The nipples are very sensitive and biting them like you’re feasting on a lion-burger will only make things worse. You can’t get a woman’s nipples aroused by biting, you only do so by gently sucking them.

    9. LEAVING YOU A LITTLE PRESENT
    Disposing a condom is the man’s job. You wore it, you get rid of it.

    10. CLIMAXING TOO FAST OR TAKING HIS TIME TO CLIMAX
    Coming too fast makes it look like you just finished watching an episode of TOM&JERRY. Going on for ages like a warrior chasing a prize will make her vagina sore and her back stiff. Dude, learn to strike a balance.
    - amebor.com/dumb-mistakes-boyfriend/
     
  2. Village-Boi

    Village-Boi Well-Known Member

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    Why women dey swear by these kain rubbish articles? Enjoy the response!

    1. FORGETTING TO KISS YOU FIRST
    But ya friend grabbed me so i kissed her first

    2. SQUEEZING YOUR BREAST LIKE ORANGES
    I have no ploblem bouncing them on the ground like basketball.

    3. TALKING NASTY AND DIRTY.
    No problem I can dress up like a Priest as long as you wear a Nun's outfit.

    4. “ARE YOU COMING”?
    If you like come to my place, if you like don't come. One phone call and ya best friend with her friend will come round

    5. THANKING YOU AFTER SEX
    Me? Thank you? Na lie oh! I'll kick you out straight after, not even in a cab. You get luck if I give you bus fare!

    6. GOING ON LIKE A FORMULA-ONE DRIVER.
    RE Nos 5 - You deaf? I like bus!

    7. TAKING HIS PANTS OFF FIRST
    No, wrong. The mission was to take 'yours' off first.

    8. BITING YOUR NIPPLES
    Sorry, I thought it was Tom-Tom

    9. LEAVING YOU A LITTLE PRESENT
    Wetin you want na diamond?

    10. CLIMAXING TOO FAST OR TAKING HIS TIME TO CLIMAX
    Make up your mind, which one you want? Quickie or long time?
     
  3. Sifu

    Sifu Well-Known Member

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    This list was written by a virgin
     
  4. Dsampler

    Dsampler D. Ultimate Naija Ruler

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    :roll:roll :roll
     
  5. Dsampler

    Dsampler D. Ultimate Naija Ruler

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    :roll:roll:roll:roll
     
  6. blackpearl

    blackpearl oloju come and do

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    VB!!! There is NO HELP for you!
    I swear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    :roll :roll :roll :roll :roll :roll :roll I need recover first. Wohooooo
     
  7. blackpearl

    blackpearl oloju come and do

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    Et tu?
    :roll :roll :roll :roll
    I need to get out of this thread!
     
  8. Dsampler

    Dsampler D. Ultimate Naija Ruler

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    VB, you get a fiance? just wait till ya fiance see wetin you write up here.
     
  9. Village-Boi

    Village-Boi Well-Known Member

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    But I have haves a help already; afarall a whole Chelubim & Sheraton pastor don beat badness commot for mine head when I was a little boy... and he got paid too; him chop my Pa moni plus goat plus US colour candles, he even chop the one k-leg chicken we give am. Winch kain help I need again? I am a very corret guys.
     
    barbarellanoir likes this.
  10. Village-Boi

    Village-Boi Well-Known Member

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    I get plenti gfs, them no go read am...

    ...Hang on... na code you take write me? No ploblems... PM me make I fish out Miguel the Mexican Midget number gives you. Yes??
     
  11. tunmi

    tunmi Active Member

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    Lmao this list, both of them are just hilarious.
     
  12. kaymax

    kaymax Well-Known Member

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    LOL, VB don kolo long time!!! Who wrote this list? It's very very misguided, how can you tell someone how to handle their business? Different strokes for different folks.
     
  13. Dsampler

    Dsampler D. Ultimate Naija Ruler

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    Especially the "talking Nasty & Dirty" part. lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  14. sidney

    sidney Well-Known Member

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    Siiifffffuuuuuuuuu!! LOL!!!

    Make you write ya own list na? :laugh:
     
  15. Sifu

    Sifu Well-Known Member

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    Is that a dare? LOL.
     
  16. Village-Boi

    Village-Boi Well-Known Member

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    Yes it is... Oh dear!!
     
  17. sidney

    sidney Well-Known Member

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    Yes please! Then VB can post his rebuttal! :laugh:
     
  18. Village-Boi

    Village-Boi Well-Known Member

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    Ah bro, them go wan kill me for here... you no see the man to woman ratio for this thread?
     
  19. Sifu

    Sifu Well-Known Member

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    Parents please remove your children and dsampler from the room. This might be disturbing to some viewers. LOL.
     
  20. Village-Boi

    Village-Boi Well-Known Member

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    Left them oh! Na them no gree read title wiith big fat capital letters warning... maybe them think say na 'Best 10 ice cream flavassss'
     
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