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Multiple Ghanaian Marriage System: Confused or Wasting Money?

Discussion in 'LOVE, MARRIAGE, THE SEXES' started by adjojata42, Aug 15, 2012.

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  1. adjojata42

    adjojata42 Well-Known Member

    Feb 5, 2008
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    Posted By: GC Staff
    Posted on 14 Aug 2012 at 9:21am

    To say for lack of knowledge my people perish, will perhaps be too harsh a line to begin with but I cannot help but try to share my thoughts on this particular Ghanaian issue that seems to be well accepted and unquestioned by almost all.

    Let us start by cutting long talk and going straight to the main question, why do we get married several times for one marriage in Ghana?

    Ok that sounds like the wrong question. Sigh, this is confusing. It should be: Why do we have several marriage ceremonies to seal one marriage?

    You see, when you copy and still want to be original, you end up making mockery of yourself, your culture, and your rationality.

    What is a Ghanaian marriage? What is the singular most important ceremony and why do we never stop at one ceremony in Ghana and most African countries? But the western countries we copy spend less that we do on marriage and have just one ceremony.

    We have our own marriage system which is the traditional. But it’s never enough. We go on to sign in court and do a white wedding to top up. At the end of all that, don’t we feel we have gotten married two or three times which all signify the same thing? Because traditional marriage is our marriage and we spend money on it but turn around and belittle it by calling it an engagement and then heading to the alter or church for another marriage ceremony which will cost double of the traditional marriage ceremony.

    Why do we call our traditional marriage system a mere engagement when in actuality it is indeed our original marriage system?

    I humbly ask to know who taught us to ridicule our culture and it’s significance and how did we all come to believe and hold on to such?

    The traditional marriage as practiced is a necessary rite in all tribes in Ghana and usually consists of several stages before completion. So isn’t it totally ridiculous to brand it as a mere engagement?

    Most traditional marriages are elaborate, expensive and a big show of culture with a reception, favors, gifts, pastors and so much more. Why waste people’s time and money doing more of this?

    As a matter of fact, the western countries have a white wedding and it ends there. The engagement occurs when the fine young man goes on his knees and says ‘my lady, will you marry me?” Full stop.

    Why don’t we also choose one…black wedding, green wedding, purple or white? What exactly are we about?

    Some ‘enlightened’ people actually brand the traditional ceremony as irrelevant and outmoded and a way of selling out the woman…an opinion I consider quiet a shame but I will leave that topic for another day.

    Am I being rather hard on Ghana or am I just ignorant? Do you have an opinion similar to mine or different concerning this? Kindly share…
  2. kaymax

    kaymax Well-Known Member

    Jun 3, 2005
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    I don't think you are being harsh, and it is a fair assessment. However, one can justify anything and everything she or he wants to justify. If we want to be real, one can call the 'rehersal' dinner here in the States (I don't know if it's done in European nations), another wedding per se. The rehearsal dinner can get pretty expensive as well, depending on how many people are in the wedding and their families because they're typically encouraged to bring friends and family, particularly if they traveled for the wedding. That can be another party in and of itself and gratuity is always automatically added to the bill, in FL, it's 20%!!

    To answer your question, any industrious person that sees that money can be made will create a needed opportunity. I will assume that it was an industry (catering and perhaps the hospitality industry) encouraged act that did not take long to germinate and take hold. Nigerians love to party, especially the yoruba. We're looking for any opportunity just to have a party. It is a bit excessive, I agree. My issue is the changing, like one is hosting the oscars or something of that sort. I mean, first there's the outfit and the aso ebi for the traditional, then, the white wedding clothes, then the day party clothes and aso ebi and then the night party and aso ebi. I mean, for the love of the Almighty! I'm just glad I don't have many friends that feel they must do all these feferity because that is too much money to spend on a wedding that is not your own, then of course, there's the money you have to spray them!

    At least, weddings became marriages and divorce was an unknown, at least until recently.
  3. ssergit

    ssergit ..still The Drama Queen!

    Jun 9, 2010
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    my dear, I agree with you. I have asked that question: WHY so many weddings to seal one marriage abi the other way round! BECAUSE IF DIVORCE comes up, ALL the weddings can also be dissolved!!!

    You forgot one more wedding! THE USA/Diasporan wedding! Because some do court wedding in Lagos and another court wedding in USA. lolol. I have seen a wedding with Naija and USA receptions!

    In my book, even Las Vegas drive thru should simply cut it! A vow was made, a covenant, and a paper was signed! kapish!

    I did court wedding in Ghana and till date, people are still asking me when I am coming to do the wedding in USA? Really???!!! The ONLY other wedding In know I owe 'my people' is the trado! And that to me is because my father is the Royal Highness, if not, I wouldnt bother. Question now is whether to do it in 'absentia' or we would be there..... I DON'T want to be there! To me, the registry is wedding enough!

    White/church wedding? Maybe my tomboyness has never made me swoon over wearing a white down down one aisle.......

    Sad/funny thing is: when all these different weddings are done on one couple, it makes divorce more painful because each of the process would have to be UNDONE again!
  4. kolinzo

    kolinzo Oodua4life

    Apr 8, 2004
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    Well blame civilization for that. It is just a matter of time before we do away with everything Naija, religion is doig a very good job. If I tell una my observation now una go dey ask me questions. Hmm..

    Today, even the naming ceremony as we knew it before is for the devil. If you are a Christain you better take your kid to church for christening cos gaddemit if you do it the cultural way. In God we trust...hmm...
  5. tunmi

    tunmi Active Member

    Apr 14, 2006
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    oh man, I love naming ceremonies. The family members would give the child a name and its meanings too. It was always fun for my brothers and me to try to remember as many names as possible. tsk tsk.
  6. Flomari

    Flomari Well-Known Member

    Nov 15, 2006
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    I think the traditional should be ok.but you know us, we be copy copy especially ghanafor we overdo things hmm
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