1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Selecting a Partner for life

Discussion in 'LOVE, MARRIAGE, THE SEXES' started by NTB, Aug 14, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. NTB

    NTB Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2003
    Messages:
    21,502
    Likes Received:
    441
    Subject: Words from Pastor Jamaal Harrison Bryant- Selecting a Partner for Life


    Words from Reverend Dr. Jamaal Harrison Bryant, (Empowerment Temple AME Church, Baltimore, Maryland) For those of us who are single or married be blessed by this word! I often warn women who are contemplating marriage to marry someone who can take care of them. When a woman marries, it ought to be to someone who is capable of taking her to the next level. If she comes from poverty, there is no reason for her to get married and still be impoverished.

    The role of the man is to take her to another place. When she gets married, she ought to dress better, drive better, live better, and eat better, not constantly be in a struggle over where her next meal is coming from. My grandmother used to say, "I can do bad all by myself".

    For a woman desiring a mate, the objective, of course, would be to find a Christian man, who's settled, has goals, accomplishments and a job. But a goal-oriented and focused man can't just be approached any kind of way. So the woman who seeks this type of stability must make sure that she stands out above the crowd.

    Make sure your relationship with the Lord is strong and growing. Make sure that you are presentable. Working from the inside out, your presentation should be representative of both who you are and whom you seek. Appearance is a reflection of how you see yourself.

    Have the ability to hold an intelligent conversation. And most importantly, allow the Holy Spirit to take control. You don't need to go after him. He's going to come after you, because after he sees and smells you and knows that you're in his presence, he's going to want to know who you are!

    I know there's somebody reading this who has been chasing after the "man of your dreams," but God says, "Just sit still and allow patience to have her perfect work through Me."

    Furthermore, it's never a good idea to be too forward and too aggressive. Attempting to win a man's affection by jumping into bed with him will only backfire and cause him to lose interest in ever developing a lasting relationship. It causes him to lose respect for you and question your character.

    However, if he sees that you are dressed with quality, that you smell like you are somebody; that you look like you're doing fine without him, then that will attract the right attention from him. He'll have no choice but to give you his attention. Stop looking so needy, climbing into bed, trying in vain to capture a man's heart!

    God woke me up in the middle of the night and said, "The same thing that Naomi told Ruth to do is the same thing that I want them to do for me." God is so sick of saints coming to Him trying to get a quickie and never romancing Him for Who he is-going to church screaming, shouting and hollering, but hadn't been intimate with God all week long! Stop trying to treat God like a sugar daddy and start romancing Him with worship and praise: "I'm yours Lord...everything I've got...everything I'm not!"

    The God we serve, which is the God of love, demands and requires of us foreplay before He gives us what we need. In the book of Ruth, the mother-in-law tells Ruth, "You have to wash." John 15:3 reminds us, Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. When you sit in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, you are taking a shower. When you hear the unadulterated Word of God, then the dirt and grime that you've accumulated all week long begins to wash off you. Ask God to "create in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit."

    Stand in the word! Then wait upon the Lord to renew your strength!

    With God, All things are Possible!

    BE ENCOURAGED!!!!!!!!

    "When there is nothing left but God, that's when you find out that God is all you need"
     
  2. blackbutterfly

    blackbutterfly Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    7,592
    Likes Received:
    704
    Amen!amen!amen!
     
  3. lola_americana

    lola_americana i'M bRinGinG sExYBacK!!!!

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2004
    Messages:
    2,286
    Likes Received:
    0
    :roll :roll
     
  4. chi

    chi I am blessed

    Joined:
    May 21, 2006
    Messages:
    10,757
    Likes Received:
    301
    I love pastor Jamaal messages and I had to e-mail this piece to my girlfriends ..... The last excerpt is so true " When there is nothing left but God, that's when you find out that God is all you need"
     
  5. KikisMuffin

    KikisMuffin I no get ya time!!

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2005
    Messages:
    11,631
    Likes Received:
    174
    :eek: :)

    :roll There's no type of sermon I wont hear in this world sha!smokin:

    Can't I just google and find one, then?!smokin:
     
  6. Multioption

    Multioption Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2004
    Messages:
    3,639
    Likes Received:
    12
    grinning:
     
  7. zenke

    zenke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    12,529
    Likes Received:
    5
    Nice message!!!
     
  8. blackbutterfly

    blackbutterfly Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    7,592
    Likes Received:
    704
    The role of the man is to take her to another place. When she gets married, she ought to dress better, drive better, live better, and eat better, not constantly be in a struggle over where her next meal is coming from. My grandmother used to say, "I can do bad all by myself".

    When I have said these same things to friends and family about what I am looking for in my dating life, some have said that I am a little too picky which is why I am single. I am glad to hear a pastor confirming what I have been saying all these years. At least, I know I ain't crazy. I oughta print this out and sent to all those fools.
     
  9. sidney

    sidney Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2006
    Messages:
    13,176
    Likes Received:
    1,143
    Chei! A poor man has no route again! He must marry a poorer woman, so he can improve her....

    I guess a man can never marry 'up'..............


    smokin:
     
  10. Flawless

    Flawless Daughter of Zion

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2005
    Messages:
    1,295
    Likes Received:
    5
    Nice message!!!
     
  11. goseiant

    goseiant Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2003
    Messages:
    8,238
    Likes Received:
    26
    Very encouraging.
     
  12. blackbutterfly

    blackbutterfly Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    7,592
    Likes Received:
    704
    If man dey poor den make him put him eye for wetin dey more important: a decent job, food in his stomach, a roof over his head, better clothes and shoes on his feet before hin dey look for wife. First things, first abeg.
     
  13. sidney

    sidney Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2006
    Messages:
    13,176
    Likes Received:
    1,143
    I repeat.... I guess a man can never marry up!
     
  14. chi

    chi I am blessed

    Joined:
    May 21, 2006
    Messages:
    10,757
    Likes Received:
    301
    you ain't crazy at all what u asking for is not too much but just the basic and I know that God will give you your heart desire grinning:
     
  15. jamaicayute

    jamaicayute Naija Movie Lovah

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2006
    Messages:
    2,284
    Likes Received:
    9
    Well I am afraid I will have to disagree with some of this teaching. It may sound good but it is not based on scripture.

    The bible clearly states that the man who cannot take care of his own is worse than an infidel so it is clear a mans role is to handle his business and take care of his wife. I do not however agree with the concept of a religous sugar daddy. Not everyone will have the best car. If you were not starving before marriage what do you mean by "eat better", Not everyone will live in a mansion. Statistics and common sense show everyday that even teh well off and upper middle classes suffer in relationships just as the stuggling working man. Yes money does answer all thing, but it does not a good relationship make.

    This sort of teaching makes people focus on the wrong things and creates frustration and unrealistic goals. Most men do know they have to take care of home etc, but we do have a problem with someone who won't stand by our side when we are working our up but who is first in line when everything falls in place. So hoop, holla , and say amen in the end you will only be fooling yourselves while those who are more realistic and reasonable share the spoils.
     
  16. bollyd

    bollyd moda b4 moda!

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Messages:
    4,626
    Likes Received:
    3

    if marriage is based on God and love i believe all that will be secondary and could be achieved gradually and in no time after all "ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY".

    bUT however, if one marries or married based on wat the man can give you that is how huge his pocket is then one is in for a trouble. and don't forget, "THERE IS NOTHING WE EAT OR ARe EATING THAT WON'T FINISH" it only takes the grace of God for us to hold on to it (wat we have).

    Further more, because many ladies seek from the beginning wat the man can do for the ladies instead of looking for guys that will love you for whom u are and the guy that can work with you to achieve your goals and his goals together, the guys (the good ones) are scared of. then we ladies keep running our mouths saying the guys are scare of commitments, why won't they, the good ones are looking a lady that will work with them not the one that will work against them.
    NB; you in this post is not reffering to anyone in particular, it's just my two cents.
     
  17. bollyd

    bollyd moda b4 moda!

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Messages:
    4,626
    Likes Received:
    3


    :1iagree: with u brother
     
  18. KikisMuffin

    KikisMuffin I no get ya time!!

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2005
    Messages:
    11,631
    Likes Received:
    174

    I concur, JC nice one!grinning: More a Dr Phil sorta column in my opinion!!!. I repeat what I said before...there's no type of sermon man wont hear again in this our present age!:eek: smokin: :)
     
  19. blackbutterfly

    blackbutterfly Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    7,592
    Likes Received:
    704
    Amen, o my dear...I wish the same for you too.
     
  20. blackbutterfly

    blackbutterfly Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    7,592
    Likes Received:
    704


    My dear BollyD, you quoted my response when you decided to answer NTB's post so though you say this is not in reference to anyone in particular, I must say my dear sister that I feel that I am being picked upon as an example here. And its all good. I no dey vex, o...I just want air my views like you aired your owned=:)

    I think that there is a time in every lady's life when she tells herself that love is enough. Yes, my dear...when I was in my twenties, I dated men based solely on that love for them - I have dated men with and without jobs - and I mean JOBS not careers. There is a difference. I have dated students, I have dated broke artists.

    Now, my dear I am a woman of a certain age and I have different requirements. I need love and I need a responsible man. And I say this in not an aggressive way but you don't know my dating life. When I speak, I am speaking out of not so pleasant experiences. I graduated from Love's School of HeartBreak. You don't know the amount of love, time, energy and money I have showered on the men I have let into my life and all for nought. Well, not really because I have learned something from each experience.

    I have accomplisheda few things in my life for which I have worked very very very hard against all odds and predictions. I have several degrees, I have both a job with benefits and a flourishing career. I am well travelled and well read. I own my own home and a healthy bank account so I do not necessarily need a man to do for me BUT I do need him to meet me at my level. I don't want to raise anyone's son. I can help a brother out to a certain extent but I cannot and I refuse to help anyone start from scratch. You must already have a foundation. If you are in my age category and don't have certain things already in place then I am sorry you are NOT "dateable" material. Please don't think that there aren't men out there just waiting for a woman to accomplish certain things so they can slide in and not have to do any work just like there are women out there seeking the same. I want a man to bring something to the table because I am most certainly not coming empty handed either.

    Any woman who is willing to marry a man who at say...35 years of age...is still working on bringing himself up, doesn't have a degree in anything, doesn't have his own place, doesn't have a career - I say may God bless her but that is not my portion in Jesus name, AMEN! I didn't put myself through school for that share of what life has to offer. No, ma'am.

    I have a God of infinite possibilities so why should I limit myself? My dear, God can give me love AND a man with God in his heart, compassion, respect, intelligence, romance, a career and a readiness to commit. Oh yes, he can. And I will wait patiently upon the Lord.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page