She's Loved him for 8 years, to confess or not to confess?

[ssergit]

She loves him... really, really loves him. We can all see it, we all know it, the way she positively turn another shade when she's teased with her love for him tells it all.

But they are 'just' friends... that's what he says, to her, to us, to anyone. He goes to her with all his girlfriends woes, and she listens, patiently she advises him on how to handle every issue he has ever had with any girlfriend.

For this reason, he can't do without her, anywhere he goes, he continues to stay connected to her. He never for once wonders why she has never dated anyone, why since their 'friendship' began 8yrs ago, she has been single.

Now he has fallen in love with someone else, he's engaged, he called her to tell her his good news...she was very happy for him on the phone, ecstatic even, like she was the one proposed to, but as soon as he hung up, the flood gate of her tears opened.

Now she wants to tell him how she feels. Now, she has finally admitted. The burden that a woman is not supposed to ask a guy out has held her back all these while. But, she feels she must at least let him know how she feels...for him, before it's too late?

Is every love worth being acted upon?

 

[ssergit]

Ssergit's response to the above post on the website it was posted for advice. I know it kinda sounds harsh, but she for at least just say it for the heck of it!

" She is STUPID! 8 years?????!!!!! C'mon! By year 2 she should have let him know! Imagine all the fun she missed out all these years loving him!
Imagine the pains she's gone through bottling up her real feelings!

To heck with woman should NOT say her feelings! I dont approve women THROWING THEMSELVES at a man, but nothing wrong with a little note that says:
"Dear John, please don't take this to be that I am cheap or coming after you, I just can't keep this inside anymore...I just want to tell you that I love you. I know you like me as a friend and do not expect you to act on this either.
I really appreciate you as a friend. You are an awesome man!
Do you by any chance have a twin brother or a clone version of you?

Always your friend.
Jane Doe!"

 

[kaymax]

OK, so the man is happy, he found love, and after 8 years she now wants to tell him? She lost her chance so many eons ago, if she does not want to lose the friendship, she should keep quite. From what I know about men, if the man is diggin' you, friend or not, he will find a way to make a move, he obviously has never thought of her in the same light.

 

[toammyb]

My own be say...which kain friendship be dat? She was doing all the giving and he didn't think for once to lend her his ears to hear her own relationship woes, give advice etc? And she stayed in that kind'a relationship? I'm assuming she didn't have someone in her own life who could play the role she's playing in his life. If she did, the person should've advised her to open her mouth yonks ago.
If it was me, I would be dissolving that friendship, or at least distance myself some from him n his fiancee...for the sake of my own sanity and so I wouldn't do something stupid (you can't totally trust yourself in some situations). I'll get a new haircut, build new relationships and hit a few sane parties with them every so often.

 

[Village-Boi]

My own be say...which kain friendship be dat? She was doing all the giving and he didn't think for once to lend her his ears to hear her own relationship woes, give advice etc?

The article doesn't actually tell us that. Maybe he was giving and a good listener too... maybe she never brought up the topic of her own relationships or lack of but spoke about everything else.
Anyway shaa; she's still a mumu. I bet she's is a nerdy girl in glasses... but is the guy mad? Bekos nerdy girls in glasses are hot and damn 'naughty'!!!

 

[toammyb]

I guess... well, such is life sister, like I said, go to a spa for three months or smth and make urself feel better.

The article doesn't actually tell us that. Maybe he was giving and a good listener too... maybe she never brought up the topic of her own relationships or lack of but spoke about everything else.
Anyway shaa; she's still a mumu. I bet she's is a nerdy girl in glasses... but is the guy mad? Bekos nerdy girls in glasses are hot and damn 'naughty'!!!

 

[Village-Boi]

I guess... well, such is life sister, like I said, go to a spa for three months or smth and make urself feel better.

True! Life is far too short to waste that amount of time not telling the person how you feel.

 

[kolinzo]

8yrs and she didn't say "I love you" to the guy? On what planet does she reside? Even in Naija girls don soji diasefs long time ago and will send signals. So she couldn't tell him but why did she fail to send him signals? I'm sure smart ladies would use their man-trap on the dude long ago.

Anyway, all hope is not lost. She can always say what's on her mind to the guy. She should get it out once and for all and damn the consequence. But funny thing in this kind of situation is that it does not always work out when they date.

 

[Village-Boi]

Anyway, all hope is not lost. She can always say what's on her mind to the guy.

She go tell am but I think that will be '28 Years Later'.

 

[tunmi]

My favorite part is this:

I really appreciate you as a friend. You are an awesome man!
Do you by any chance have a twin brother or a clone version of you?

But wow, 8 years is a long time to really love someone and keep it to yourself. I mean, love as in love not like or maybe-like, na heartbeat, difficult to breathe, love your corny self love. wow. I say tell him. You've held it in for almost a decade, please tell him and get it off your mind. And if he says no, please try to get over him. Cloning is not yet available.

 

[ssergit]

True! Life is far too short to waste that amount of time not telling the person how you feel.

imagine! 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8!!!!! she just dey look like mumu!!! I can imagine her saying she no get time for men etc to make him think she is a good girl!

Dammit! This babe SLACK!!!
Even to hint the man sef 'Ol' boy, Ok, I no hear about all these your girls! You know no say I love you!! Doesn't mean I will date u sha. Just letting u know"
And i sure the dude has been mega honest with her as per there is nothing intimate between them!

 

[ssergit]

My favorite part is this:



But wow, 8 years is a long time to really love someone and keep it to yourself. I mean, love as in love not like or maybe-like, na heartbeat, difficult to breathe, love your corny self love. wow. I say tell him. You've held it in for almost a decade, please tell him and get it off your mind. And if he says no, please try to get over him. Cloning is not yet available.

Tunmi, I am the one that made that comment O! Not her. lolol

 

[Sifu]

She will make am excellent Nigerian wife. She got the long-suffering part down pat LOL

 

[Supermom]

My dear babe...even if you hid your feelings for 8years, if I know guys well... they won't.. So in the eight years, the guy never cracked a joke about you both dating, asked a question like erm do you think we will be good together, never tried to kiss you or touch you, never suggested, you never got the inkling that he was interested ....hmmm Lady love, you don't need a prophet to tell you that bobo is not interested or attracted to you...Pls just hold your peace and move on...Nothing for you....

 

[samira]

My dear babe...even if you hid your feelings for 8years, if I know guys well... they won't.. So in the eight years, the guy never cracked a joke about you both dating, asked a question like erm do you think we will be good together, never tried to kiss you or touch you, never suggested, you never got the inkling that he was interested ....hmmm Lady love, you don't need a prophet to tell you that bobo is not interested or attracted to you...Pls just hold your peace and move on...Nothing for you....

Thinking around the same lines....she tells him, and she will ruin the friendship she has with him...he is certainly not on the same page with her on this one

 

[toammyb]

Why would telling him ruin the relationship? I don't get it when people say that. If dude says he doesn't feel the same way, they can both be mature about it and talk about it and still keep their relationship, or maybe I haven't met douchebags in my life that'll be so immature they start running away from the babe because she laid her feelings bare.
Sheesh! Sometimes, the way to deal with life's issues is to be chilled about it. There's nothing wrong with agreeing it won't work between them and staying as just friends.

Thinking around the same lines....she tells him, and she will ruin the friendship she has with him...he is certainly not on the same page with her on this one

 

[samira]

Why would telling him ruin the relationship? I don't get it when people say that. If dude says he doesn't feel the same way, they can both be mature about it and talk about it and still keep their relationship, or maybe I haven't met douchebags in my life that'll be so immature they start running away from the babe because she laid her feelings bare.
Sheesh! Sometimes, the way to deal with life's issues is to be chilled about it. There's nothing wrong with agreeing it won't work between them and staying as just friends.

There is a possibility and that is what I meant. Your point here is what you think should be the right way to go about it. It does not mean that in reality it goes that way. If she tells him and he does not share her feelings, she may see it as a rejection and may not take it well as these are feelings she has stored in her for this long... So, it will be better for her to just let it go. If the dude had any feelings for her, believe me, he will have come forward with it a long time ago. I will not be surprised if the girl herself knows this and that is why she has been unable to come forward with her feelings for him until now when she sees that he is really going off the market.

 

[tunmi]

Tunmi, I am the one that made that comment O! Not her. lolol

yes I know lmao, that's what I meant. (My favorite part of the entire post) I will use those lines from now on.

 

[samira]

One thing i have realized about us women: we have the single guy right in front of us and we do not find him appealing until he is taken. Then suddenly, we realize how much he means to us.

 

[ssergit]

One thing i have realized about us women: we have the single guy right in front of us and we do not find him appealing until he is taken. Then suddenly, we realize how much he means to us.

I agree. Some men look like 'Ewww' till another woman takes them up, cleans them up, makes them pay more attention to their dressing, then, they become 'interesting "potentials"'.

Pastor Ghandi once said at church years ago that some of those men that used to wear worn out shoes and same shirt all week did not appeal to some girls till they got married and had wives that helped them match their shirts to their ties and shirts changed to European cuts etc. And of course their hollow cheeks from hunger protruded out, then, they began to look 'nice and handsome' . that it is the wives grooming! lolol The whole church bursted out laughing! But that was a lesson sha for single girls, as per, never to look at a man and judge him as 'eeew' just because he does not look IT! They can be groomed and suited to look GQ style.

And then, some women do not notice an ugly, wretched looking man, till they see a diva chic loving on the man, then, he starts to look 'attractive', as per, "wetin the woman dey enjoy in the man"!