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The One Minute Man....

Discussion in 'LOVE, MARRIAGE, THE SEXES' started by His Majesty, Jul 30, 2012.

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  1. His Majesty

    His Majesty The Prince & Princess

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    A friend of mine called me over the weekend. She was in tears, her Nigerian husband turned out to be a one minute man (she got married 3 months ago). And my ex girlfriend, married to a naija man, has also told me the same thing. Also I can remember that an Ijebu girlfriend I dated back in college often tells me that I am very different from an average naija dude. And there are a few other instances but I ain't the time to unload all of them here sha.

    Question. Is this a naija man's problem? Are most naija men one minute men??
     
  2. Abike

    Abike Well-Known Member

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    Lobatan!
     
  3. His Majesty

    His Majesty The Prince & Princess

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    Meanwhile, follow these steps if you're one minute man.....


    1. Try the foreplay for about 20 mins. Breathe well and use your fingers if necessary -- remember that the thing is reciprocal. Try handcuffs, whips and chains if that suits your collective fancy.
    Note: Wet on the outside doesn't mean wet on the inside.

    2. Count sheep or recite a nursery rhyme like Baa Baa black sheep! :lol: In ur head of course.

    3. If you have a poster or stgh in the room, concentrate on it. A wall might work too.

    4. Take it easy. Steady is the key word here. Fast and furious doesn't necessarily take the woman where she wants to go.

    5. While in the act, reach under and both hips and squeeze gently. That controls the V muscles.

    6. Finally, you might also want to place both legs on firmly planted arms. This is one of the more favorable postns for both. Left leg on right arm and vice versa.

    7. Go get the Kama Sutra and switch every few minutes or so.

    Here are the facts guys, you need about 15 mins of foreplay plus another 15 mins of action to get someone off. Of course, everyone has their own speed, but that's around the ballpark for an average babe.

    I will come back with a few more tips later.

    Cheers
     
  4. Village-Boi

    Village-Boi Well-Known Member

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    That totally made me laugh! If you make mistake sing that song for UK na jail you dey go... the new 'pwolitically kworrect' lyrics na Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep... anything with the word 'black' is considered racism here... what a dumb a$$ country I live in. Think I lie?... click the above link!
     
  5. Abike

    Abike Well-Known Member

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    Oh!!! So you agree say your kontri slow small? rolli::excite :excite
     
  6. ssergit

    ssergit ..still The Drama Queen!

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    Oya, NR men, make una come answer.......






    Holding pop corn and suya with chilled coke/laced with vodka.....
     
  7. ssergit

    ssergit ..still The Drama Queen!

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    NO, YOU DID NOT SAY ALL THAT I COLORED RED!!!! MAN OF GOD!!!!! Waoh!!!!


    This Female-Only group that sways towards 'Religious' most of the time almost bit my head off when I simply mentioned that husband and wife can use sex toys to enhance pleasure!!

    One woman was very 'drama-queenetic' to me about it O! na Holy Ghost and the fact that I keep a cool and calm persona on facebook that made me NOT curse her out, una know me keh! Especially WHEN some other ladies and I asked her to show us in the Bible where it is written 'Sex toys or any intimate thing outside 'missionary style' is a sin!.... smh


    And some pastor's wives and even regular wives wonder why their husbands go after 'lesser' women......when they only wanna do the 'missionary'..... OK, let me get off this thread sha......

    I am glad you are open-minded sha. Well done.

    That said, I believe (just from biology class O, I'm not quoting any research here...)... I believe any man can go above 1 minute IF they truly have real and good passion for their woman, as long as ALL physical defect has been ruled out...
     
  8. olatoludipe

    olatoludipe BOSS LADY

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    Wahala wa ooo!
     
  9. Dsampler

    Dsampler D. Ultimate Naija Ruler

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  10. His Majesty

    His Majesty The Prince & Princess

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    Good point right there, ssergit. Here's what the Bible says about sex in marriage:
    Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4.
    So married folks are allowed to do whatever works for them as long as they are not doing perverted stuffs.
     
  11. His Majesty

    His Majesty The Prince & Princess

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    And here are some tips for the women as well....

    When you feel the need to pee...pee, but do it in spurts...release, then hold the pee in, squeeze, release, hold pee in, squeeze. You'll get used to it and then be able to do it any time.
    And guys...for your own sake and your lady's, do kegel exercises too. You too have a pelvis...It helps in controlling premature ejaculation....

    And for the women, it contacts your pelvic bone and this helps when you are about to give birth as well. It is also good to do it during sex especially when he is about to or during climaxing, it makes him feel good.

    Try it, folks and you'll thank me later:biggrinsa
     
  12. Village-Boi

    Village-Boi Well-Known Member

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    Ah you don miss road oh! I said Kwontry I live in.... not MY country which is NIGERIA! lol
     
  13. takestyle

    takestyle Well-Known Member

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    ...And you don't think whips and chains are "perverted"?

    Every time I think I have seen the height of your hypocrisy, you just reveal a new level... and now we'e actually getting entire posts designed for the purpose of bragging about your alleged sexual prowess. Very appropriate Christian subject matter here... You should write a book about it and earn more "loyalties."
     
  14. chi

    chi I am blessed

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    from what I heard men that smoke , drink can't stay long
     
  15. Dsampler

    Dsampler D. Ultimate Naija Ruler

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    ...em,...with this your long list, are you sure the guy shouldn't just come in with a manual and a flashlight?
    The manual because you don't want to forget any of "His Majesty"'s rules.
    The flashlight because it might be dark in the room. You would need some light to read the manual.

    I mean, this sound very serious. You don't want to leave anything out.

    ...and BTW, His Majesty, aren't you the Pastor guy?....who always quote the bible on this very naijarules site? Pardon me, but I must say you sound very progressive for a Pastor to me. Maybe you should change profession. Howbout moving to Nevada? I heard its free for all over there as long as you have your money to pay for it.
     
  16. Dsampler

    Dsampler D. Ultimate Naija Ruler

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    :roll:roll:roll
     
  17. Pete

    Pete Well-Known Member

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    His Majesty, it's funny reading your tips and right under it is a signature with scripture. That'll definitely throw suspicious eyes off. Anyway, I'm sure those pointers will be helpful to readers.

    By the way, PEOPLE, you should read Songs of Solomon and marvel.
     
  18. Village-Boi

    Village-Boi Well-Known Member

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    Ok, that is funny lolol
     
  19. Kala Lou

    Kala Lou Well-Known Member

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    I yam dump folded?? I be think say HM nah pastor?
     
  20. blackpearl

    blackpearl oloju come and do

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    :roll :roll

    Abeg o i no fit shout!

    Weh FM for this topic sef!

    :roll :roll :roll
     
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