1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Two Cows - Government Types Lol

Discussion in 'GAMES, JOKES, STUFF' started by Village-Boi, Feb 22, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Village-Boi

    Village-Boi Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2009
    Messages:
    5,018
    Likes Received:
    527
    A copy & paste from FB

    TWO COWS ~{Matthias Varga}

    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour...

    COMMUNISM

    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and shoots you

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
    throws the milk away

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy
    grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income

    ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
    your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
    for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
    The public then buys your bull.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes.
    The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to
    produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
    the cow has dropped dead.

    A GREEK CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
    dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
    You still only have two cows.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
    cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
    twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
    market it worldwide.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows,
    but you don't know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive...
     
  2. mealone

    mealone Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2004
    Messages:
    10,626
    Likes Received:
    95
    THE NIGERIA CORPORATION:
    you have 2 cows,
    They Produce a zillion gallons of Milk because they're very fertile,
    Then the cows gets killed and all politicians share the parts of the cow
    Then they declare a Permanent 'state of Emergency' -the cows and the Milk have gone missing and cannot be accounted for.Then 2 years later, we borrow 2 more cows from China and the cycle repeats itself!!..
     
    moviewizard and Village-Boi like this.
  3. Village-Boi

    Village-Boi Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2009
    Messages:
    5,018
    Likes Received:
    527
    ^^^
    Lol, nice one Mealone!!
     
    mealone likes this.
  4. Sola

    Sola Administrator
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2003
    Messages:
    21,373
    Likes Received:
    1,222
    Another good oldie...
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page