When they say they can't take it.......na lie!!!!!

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ssergit

..still The Drama Queen!
#22
Actually, the main message I got from that is not that the not whether the grass is greener or not, it is not to listen to so called friends and don't second guess your man. You know who you have at home, so don't let anyone come in and try to tell you otherwise. When you have a good man, you know it. Also, typically, it's the ones who have an unhappy marriage that come to mess someone else's up. Happy people typically don't try to destroy others' relationship. Your frientds will always build you up, not tear you and your man down.
Hmmm... tell me about it! I was going to post something the other day but i remembered I promised myself to keep my marriage out of NR and Internet!

it is amazing how many women post all sorts of crappy "I love my husband" bullshit on facebook! And how many posts pictures of them cuddlying and mushy mushy when they are in HELL! WHY? I ask!

being married made me realize why there is that notion {and very true indeed} that Married women DON'T mingle with single women! It took my venting to a close friend of mine one time my hubby pissed me off so bad and as far as my 'Independent Woman' and "I-AM-WOMAN" and feminine activist stand dictates, he was disrespectful and 'naija-mentalitistic', for me to find out that all the lovey dovey albums of vacations and gifts and things she bombarded us on facebook with are all "WHAT SHE WISHES HER MARRIAGE REALLY WAS" because dude treats her like shit! And she married a white man! By the time she was done with all the things her oyibo 'perfect' hubby has been doing to her, plus the beatings and abuses etc...errrmmm... I hugged my Bini naija-mentality hubby really tight that night! he was a bad boy, but he came NO where close to all the things my friend was 'enduring' in her marriage! because according to her "it is a woman's place to keep the marriage" and "marriage is not easy" plus "whether you leave this one, the next man would still do same thing, because all men are the same"....aha! She has kids for him, "so, where would she run to? How would she maintain her present lifestyle?" etc etc
At least she was plain open!

Another friend was full of rosy stories "how her hubby dare not touch her! or she will kill him", how her man is providing and must continue, she would keep her money etc etc" running mouth. And dude was gonna walk out on her and their daughter! Then he made a post on BBM about moving on! I bbed back, like on to where, and he called me and real story came out! Plain simple! He was tired! Done with the marriage! Psychologist me, I told him to calm down, I would talk to my friend"! And I did! In her vulnerable state, she finally CONFESSED to all the beatings and craps! (cheating, spending her money) he had been doing for months! How she was the one paying the rents and feeding them all etc And oh! She still wanted me to beg him to stay and make the marriage work! So, even though she knew he was all that bad, she still wanted to STAY! But she had given the impression that she would be out of the door in a second 'if he stepped out of line!' Really? smh

WHO IS FOOLING WHO?! To each her own! Every woman knows her man! And to me, better you know your man and make your decision to stay or leave BECAUSE OF YOU! Not because some friend/family talked you into it! because the worse regret would be WHEN/IF you find out that all they said about the spouse were lies or that the advice came from a jealous/envious part of their soul! #JustSaying!

Same applies to Single girls too, not just married women! So many single ladies have lost out on good men because they listened to some bitches' tales!
 

Thickmadam

OHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHH!!
#26
im genuinely curious.
i hear this statement all the time, especially from Nigerian women.
i don't understand why i should suddenly not be friends with people i've known practically all my life because i'm married and they're not. should i then rekindle our friendship when they get married? :confused:
TM, that statement does not even relate to the initial post, these are two married women, so how that statement fits into this, I don't understand.
 

Supermom

Well-Known Member
#27
im genuinely curious.
i hear this statement all the time, especially from Nigerian women.
i don't understand why i should suddenly not be friends with people i've known practically all my life because i'm married and they're not. should i then rekindle our friendship when they get married? :confused:

I believe it stems from lack of confidence and insecurity on the married women's part..
 

Abike

Well-Known Member
#28
Lol @ TM...I dont think she meant that mingling and being friends between married and single women cannot happen...it just may be that some experiences that a married person has, a single person cannot (by the virtue of being single) yet, relate with...

So does one need to stop being friends? no...but would some conversations happen with a married woman/man vs a single one after marriage? yes!


im genuinely curious.
i hear this statement all the time, especially from Nigerian women.
i don't understand why i should suddenly not be friends with people i've known practically all my life because i'm married and they're not. should i then rekindle our friendship when they get married? :confused:
 

ssergit

..still The Drama Queen!
#29
I'm curirous..why do you say this?


I am not the one saying this, it has been said so many times too long all over the place...... I am sure you have heard it too, I don't knwo how to explain it further....I just came in, tired, need sleep. Will come back to write my usual epistle on this.
 

ssergit

..still The Drama Queen!
#30
Because e be like say married women look at single girls as 'husband snatchers'... and not only in Naija; I don see oyinbo women too wey dey fear single girls with a fearing fearfulness.
nah, not about snatching. the snatching dey even happen faster and better when the woman no be friends with wife, So, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer' applies.

TM, that statement does not even relate to the initial post, these are two married women, so how that statement fits into this, I don't understand.
I believe it stems from lack of confidence and insecurity on the married women's part..
Not true. Not what I meant

Lol @ TM...I dont think she meant that mingling and being friends between married and single women cannot happen...it just may be that some experiences that a married person has, a single person cannot (by the virtue of being single) yet, relate with...

So does one need to stop being friends? no...but would some conversations happen with a married woman/man vs a single one after marriage? yes!
God Bless you Abike. you simply answered it. Thank God someone understood.

While single girls sitting together can share gists about their BOYFRIENDS, it is NOT so easy for married women to sit with single friends and share gist about their HUSBANDS! Its much easier for the single gal to WALK AWAY FROM ANY DOUCHEBAG boyfriend, but a married woman CANNOT! That simple paper signed on the wedding day takes a PROCESS to be walked away from! So there fore, CONTENT of gists and gossips DIFFER! Gists of dating guys or changing bfs will NOT apply to Mrs! YType of advice and points that would be raised would be highly gauged and measured!
relating to thread, single babe can say" Me!!?? I go leave the man!" ...wait till she gets married and then the gist turns to "Ah, marriage na endurance O! It is not easy!"...

And NO! One cannot stop being friends with married/single women. Point was raised because of thread title! It shoudl apply to single girls too! After all there are so many single ladies that lost their men because they listened to fellow single women, not so?>
 

Village-Boi

Well-Known Member
#31
Because e be like say married women look at single girls as 'husband snatchers'... and not only in Naija; I don see oyinbo women too wey dey fear single girls with a fearing fearfulness.
nah, not about snatching. the snatching dey even happen faster and better when the woman no be friends with wife, So, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer' applies.
I no mention say they be 'friends' o! Def not 'friends'... like a woman being single na one kain odd illness and they do have it at the back of their minds say na thing hubby fit catch - when, if he's the straying kind, he can stray to non-'singulite'.
 

ssergit

..still The Drama Queen!
#34
I no mention say they be 'friends' o! Def not 'friends'... like a woman being single na one kain odd illness and they do have it at the back of their minds say na thing hubby fit catch - when, if he's the straying kind, he can stray to non-'singulite'.
Forgive dear. I was typing under the influence of MONSTER energy drink sleeplessness. U know that 'about-to-crash heady feeling after abusing energy drink to meet a deadline and staying away all night! #Sigh! I miss Ghana, where I had no crazy deadlines! But I no go lie, I sure no miss the house chores and cooking stuffies! Hee hee hee Felt good to drive through to get burger with extra cheese and lotsa chips! OK, I ramble I ramble!
So good to be back to civilization! #Phew!
No offense to Ghanaians O! Lagos sef gave me Malaria and pneumonia! Seems Ghana mosquitoes are less deadly than Lagos ones! Hiisssss. See as I fear make dem no quarantine me at JFK O! had to postpone trip like 3 times till I felt and looked better! smh
 

Village-Boi

Well-Known Member
#35
Forgive dear. I was typing under the influence of MONSTER energy drink sleeplessness...
See as I fear make dem no quarantine me at JFK O! had to postpone trip like 3 times till I felt and looked better! smh
Oh the joy of energy drinks; me na wings persin :ringed! I hope you're feeling much better?
 

Thickmadam

OHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHH!!
#36
'biks read the statement again.

i've heard that statement many many times on this site.

i choose my friends wisely (for the most part) and...well...i know who my friends are and we ...darn just lost my train of thought.
it all depends on the dynamics of the friendships.



Lol @ TM...I dont think she meant that mingling and being friends between married and single women cannot happen...it just may be that some experiences that a married person has, a single person cannot (by the virtue of being single) yet, relate with...

So does one need to stop being friends? no...but would some conversations happen with a married woman/man vs a single one after marriage? yes!
 

Field Marshal

ABSOLUTE SUPREME RULER
#37
'biks read the statement again.

i've heard that statement many many times on this site.

i choose my friends wisely (for the most part) and...well...i know who my friends are and we ...darn just lost my train of thought.
it all depends on the dynamics of the friendships.
Ntoooooh gi! Na bicos u too tok!:p
 
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