Would U consider being a second wife?

Supermom

Well-Known Member
#61
Marriage in my opinion is so overrated....(funny coming from me lol)..there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single, embracing and loviing it..neither is there anything wrong with being married if it works for you...The most important thing is to be happy..

Now back to the question ... Second wife? Nah...not for me...That I will willingly and knowingly share a man..Heck no..
Especially if I claim to love him...so for this to happen it has to be for money, not just 'chewing gum'money...I mean 'don't be silly money' ....it has to be worth it..Even then, I'd rather be a mistress than a second wife...
Who needs all the restrictions of marriage when we are sharing the man? I would want the freedom to come and go as i please...This way I can still get a Madingo to ermmmmm help out...
 

paj

Well-Known Member
#62
Are we talking about marriage, or a business transaction???...I keep on seeing comments like these...if he has a billion...etc..Noone wishes to be poor, but if a polygamous marriage is not for them, accept it. For every woman who wouldn't consider being a second wife, there are more who will. My ideal man/man of my dreams is NOT married...I won't remix my ideal because of money, because in my heart of hearts, I will NOT be happy. I know that situation will kill my spirit/energy, and make me miserable...no matter how much money he has. It isn't a judment call/ character flaw, for those who are down with it, it is all about knowing your limits.
..I see sey U get stronghead..:gnash..my uncle dey call IMF now...checking him acct balance before he sends the 'first envelope' to U :gnash
 

paj

Well-Known Member
#63
Marriage in my opinion is so overrated....(funny coming from me lol)..there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single, embracing and loviing it..neither is there anything wrong with being married if it works for you...The most important thing is to be happy..

Now back to the question ... Second wife? Nah...not for me...That I will willingly and knowingly share a man..Heck no..
Especially if I claim to love him...so for this to happen it has to be for money, not just 'chewing gum'money...I mean 'don't be silly money' ....it has to be worth it..Even then, I'd rather be a mistress than a second wife...
Who needs all the restrictions of marriage when we are sharing the man? I would want the freedom to come and go as i please...This way I can still get a Madingo to ermmmmm help out...







..well.....I used to think the same thing..so I can fully understand where U're coming from...but I think it has to be on a case by case basis...I dont agree that there's "absolutely nothing wrong with being single" but it's understandable when the available options aren't exactly tantalizing...it's about finding the right match and...I'll rather be single than "just marry",which I see where your point goes..but I dont think marriage is overrated.How it'll be depends on several minimum(@ least) number of things falling into place...with a pinch of luck...and both parties determined to continually work on perfecting the juggling act of making it work...

Pa
 

ssergit

..still The Drama Queen!
#64
It has nothing to do with like sse...we don finish our fighting stages already....life is too short abi? dis one where you dey hand over condom to the bobo is a no no don't go area sis....u dey just make matter worse for yourself.

This whole matter regarding aids is a sad one. The question is how does one protect themselves from getting it through a spouse? Do you have him wear the condoms with you too?

Just the other day, a girlfriend of mine who is a nurse was telling me that she just finished working for a couple in the DC area and unbeknown to the woman, her husband has aids. My girlfriend was sent to his house for almost six weeks as his nurse.

The wife knows that he has health problems but is unaware of the extent of his illness. She just knows that the illness is related to his immune system and that is just about it. As her husband's nurse, she is not inclined to discuss the illness with his wife. Its the husband's responsibility. My girlfriend says the couple are two beautiful people.....down to earth people....really nice to her. She suspects the man is gay.

He hides all of his medication in the sofa in their family living room. That is how my girlfriend knew that the woman does not know. She his nurse knows as she gives it to him when the wife goes to work and so forth. He actually has torn part of the sofa and buried all of his pills there. The way he has the pills hidden, if you are unaware that they are there, you will never know. My friend says she quit the job because she was dying to tell the woman anonymously by sending her a letter. But she was still afraid that she will find out that it was her and she may sue her nursing agency. In the end quit the job as the woman was so nice to her and she just could not go there everyday and speak to her knowing that she is sleeping with a man with aids.
Yeah, that is a foregone phase.
My dear, the AIDS thing and marriage na hin dey vex pass! better understandable if a single guy brings AIDS, but a married man own na hin hard to swallow! Like, seriously, why da heck did he get married! isn't sex part of the benefits? And the wife 9 out of 10 times is a faithful siddon dey wait wife!! Who ends up collecting all the diseases and vaginal juice the husbands gathers outside! I wonder ....do cheating married men wash their penis after fcuking a girlfriend, before inserting kini into his wife????? eeeewww!!!

About the AIDS/Nurse/Wife thingy, is it not Illegal for a person NOT to tell another of their AIDS's status???? In this case, a wife???? I am 110% sure that it is illegal!! And if he is knowingly sleeping with the wife, that is homicidal! That man is wicked!!!! And the nursing agency SHALL BE LIABLE too!
Wow!!!!!!! This is scary!
 

rudeboy

Well-Known Member
#66
Really? I honestly do NOT know that, just that I hear pastors ALL THE TIME saying it is wrong. And I grew up in the Catholic church and I know that was totally frowned upon so much so that if a man even divorced his wife, he would not be allowed to have another church wedding (right?)...

Oh boy! All these church and polygamy thing sha. Hmmmmm...So, i guess most women say no to polygamy because they dont want to be seen as 'settling into second-position'?


Ok, WHAT IF the man asking for polygamy is a MULTI-BILLIONAIRE (US Dollars O, NOT Naira).....would all the babes here saying 'NO, heck no' etc still say NO to being a second wife? I mean, seriously????!!! Ladies! get real!

Let me paint this scenario!
Here goes:
Mr B is a billionaire ($), and asks you to marry him! And straight up wedding present is: An island for you, a private jet you can use to have lunch in the Bahamas and breakfast in abuja. Your own mansions at least in 4 continents! Servants at your bidding!
You don't get to shop, the best of the best designers come to your palatial boudoir to fit you with custom-made exclusive outfits!
And yes, Mr. B accepts that you don't have to just sit and prim yourself at home, you can set up any business, any charity of your choice, just name it, it is done!
And your saying yes and being called wife #2 or even #3 sef go open doors to all these goodies! A good cherry on the ice cream: Mr. B honestly does love you! he is romantic too. Sends you flowers and chocolates[if you like 'em], he sends you old skull hand written love poems [if you are mushy], he could just fly in and whisk you off to Paris for a sweet romantic dinner. Ooh lala! And yes! he showers you with exquisite jeweleries! You loose count of your diamond sets! {no swarovski)!

Niggaz bitchez, pluuuuuze! Tell me say una go open mouth and say 'Heck No!" abeggiiiiiiii!!!!!! na this NR we no go hear word for una each time una get a new porsche or lamborghini!

Not to talk of the people [extended families included and childhood friends] who are not doing well that you would give monies to and change their lives! And all the chieftancy titles your village go bestow on you!!

Seriously, with Mr. B on his knees with a $5,000,000.00 engagement ring ensconced in a soft velvet box, would you say NO?
And this is not you being materialistic O!, This is you meeting the elusive Prince charming! Who loves you silly and has lots and lots of money to make all your childhood fairytale love romantic dreams come true! I guess the thread's question should have been: "Would you consider marrying the man of your dream, even if it means becoming a second wife?"
Nne, you maybe seriously in need of some malaria tablets o!
 

ssergit

..still The Drama Queen!
#67
Nne, you maybe seriously in need of some malaria tablets o!
WHY? FOR SAYING THE TRUTH?!!! YOU!!!!!??? Who was berating a niece for not sleeping with her uncle's friend for a job dare to tell em say I need panadol abi na chloroquine for saying our women here are lying through their teeth??? Nna, mind yoursef O! Tell me, if you know any babe wey one bobo came on loving like the original Prince charming, and you KNOW SAY the man love her to die! the man even dey cry to you to help you beg the babe to say yes! Hin even give you a Ferrari just to beg the chick to say YEs to his marriage proposal.......Rudie, talk true O! You go tell Single chick [that has been searching for the elusive Mr. Right for decades] to say No, and become Wife # Mighty 1 to one dude who may cheat on her, and not even love her genuinely???? smh

I am sick and tired of women PRETENDING! Why do women say no to things like these so casually? The question is NOT if you would say yes to a rich old man as second wife! Neither is the question about becoming a second wife to a randy young man who has money to spoil you [at the expense of love].

The question in my post is: WHAT IF THE MAN IS HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH THE WOMAN! AND FOR CERTAIN REASONS, CANNOT DIVORCE HIS FIRST WIFE, {she maybe terminally ill, or they may have had one of those family/merger/business marriage with no love}. AND HE CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THIS SINGLE GIRL. AND HE JUST HAPPENS TO HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY [WHICH MEANS THE SECOND WIFE WOULD NOT HAVE TO HASSLE ANY ISH WITH WIFE #1].

i AM NOT saying that being a second wife is a glorious thing either. Just that this is one of those questions I DON'T expect women to say 'HECK NO' just like that. Without thinking it through! This is one of those questions that a honest woman would say 'NO, {with explanation}! Some people have deliberately decided to look at my question as if I am asking if they would marry a rich man who would give them material things as second wife! THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM SAYING! I am talking about a man that would give you GENUINE LOVE+RICHES+COMPANIONSHIP+ALL your heart's desires! Yes, in Wife #2 status! NOT living in the same house as wife #1! In fact, living in different continents!
Because at the end of the day, every human being is pursuing happiness! And if the happiness comes with title of Wife #2, would you say NO and live/marry another man you do not honestly and truly love?? Just because you want to be Wife #1???

Pardon me if i refuse to believe that any sane woman would genuinely love a man {the type of love that starts from the bottom of the hearts and tingles the spine and jitters the nerve endings, the type of love that the sight of the man would make their heart skips 5 beats a second}....and with the extra bonus of the man being mega rich [to cater to all their high-heels cravings, their shopping needs, their need for luxurious lifestyle, their avenue to help even the old woman in their village by opening something like an Elder's Day Care etc]...would still say a casual NO to becoming a second wife! Mba! i am NOT buying it!
EVERY woman's dream is to be loved, and loved genuinely! And if Mr. Right comes on a shiny private jet, YES, some of the women saying no here would say YES before he even finishes asking the question! And they shall keep uploading the pictures of their lunch on a gondola in the morning, and sunbathing in Barbados in the afternoon, and dinner and a movie premiere in Los Angeles! :rolleyes:
That is the one NO a woman would say after fasting and prayer! After lots of confusion of 'Should I?!" Shouldn't I?!" sessions! THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE EASY "NO" questions! Especially with love involved! And the woman knowing that this is the ONLY man that has made her genuinely happy!

You know the funny thing? While people are saying NO here, there are SO MANY WOMEN HERE IN USA WHO ARE IN FACT WIFE #2!! WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING! BECAUSE THEIR CUTE, NICE HUSBANDS HERE ALREADY MARRIED IN NIGERIA OR OTHER AFRICAN COUNTRIES AND NEVER HAD A REAL DIVORCE! SO, THEY ARE STILL LEGALLY MARRIED TO ANOTHER WOMAN! Remember Mercy Johnson/Lovelyn saga? YES! That is a reality! There are men that carried traditional drinks on women back home, and by traditional rites, the woman is their wife!

how many high flying ladies here are actually second wives? How many times have we seen 'the other woman' turn up at the funeral of dead men as 'The first wife' with grown up kids? smh. abeg, make una no make me laugh! A cheating man is NOT better than a polygamous man!
 

Thickmadam

OHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHH!!
#68
i have a senior friend who could not have children and her husband married a second wife.
and she said to me once "do you know what it does to a woman to kiss your husband goodnight and then watch him go to another woman's bedroom and make love to her? it tears me to pieces inside and shreds my heart"

it's not as cut and dried, or as black/white. matters of the heart rarely are.
she may love the man, the man may love her and want to die for her (taking away the money factor because it's not all about the money for some women. not everything is about money), but knowing that you are married to a man who will leave you on some nights and go make love to another woman (even though he married the other woman first), how long is that giddiness and happiness and love going to last in that woman's (second wife) eyes before she starts being bitter about knowing that every other night he's heading to his first wife, even though he professes to love her and will die for her and will even lick the ground she walks on?

i'm just trying to say that it's not about the money, it's not about the man loving you, it's about THE WOMAN and how she handles it.
at the end of the day if she is bitter and mad all the time...

but what do i know?

whatever floats anybody boat, just make sure you are happy and your happiness and peace of mind is not compromised.
 

ssergit

..still The Drama Queen!
#69
so many couples live thousands of miles apart these days.
so many couples DON'T even see themselves daily [as should be]. There are married couples who travel across the atlantic ocean 3,4, 5 times a year only! They don't live in the same house or work in the same city etc.

So, yes, two wives can be married to one man and NOT even know the time table of when the other woman is going to be fcuked! After all, some 'happily' married men are able to carry out these same 'fcuking schedule' with their mistresses even with their wives just miles away from them! And MOST WOMEN KNOW their hubbies are cheating and still stay in the marriage! ALL single ladies dating married men know that the man would go back into the arms of 'wife', and most likely fcuk her same night, even minutes after leaving her [single lady's] bed.

Times have changed! Any woman who is over-jealous these days is seen as loco! Things have changed! This is not the time when a woman sat at home as 'wife' waiting for hubby to come home and shine her congo and bring the bacon! Now, most women are bringing better bacons home too! And most women after working so long hours really don't want to shine hubby's congo, but just to get the kids to bed and get ready for another career day.

I tell any woman leaving her hubby because he is shinning another congo to be sure she is really tired emotionally before doing so, because stepping out [out of jealousy] just opened the door for the other woman to pack in fully!

I've always wondered sef...why don't polygamous spouses engage in Menage a trois? I mean, seriously, it is the same penis and Vs. Just kukuma save time and do it all at the same time, abi? [chai, the things I say. smh @ me]. lolol
 

rudeboy

Well-Known Member
#70
[chai, the things I say. smh @ me]. lolol
That's exactly why you need the malaria doses, not just because of SAYING THE TRUTH. Of course you always keep it real except that you sometimes fly away with malaria scenerios like this:

Mr B is a billionaire ($), and asks you to marry him! And straight up wedding present is: An island for you, a private jet you can use to have lunch in the Bahamas and breakfast in abuja. Your own mansions at least in 4 continents! Servants at your bidding!
You don't get to shop, the best of the best designers come to your palatial boudoir to fit you with custom-made exclusive outfits!
And yes, Mr. B accepts that you don't have to just sit and prim yourself at home, you can set up any business, any charity of your choice, just name it, it is done!
And your saying yes and being called wife #2 or even #3 sef go open doors to all these goodies! A good cherry on the ice cream: Mr. B honestly does love you! he is romantic too. Sends you flowers and chocolates[if you like 'em], he sends you old skull hand written love poems [if you are mushy], he could just fly in and whisk you off to Paris for a sweet romantic dinner. Ooh lala! And yes! he showers you with exquisite jeweleries! You loose count of your diamond sets! {no swarovski)!
 

ssergit

..still The Drama Queen!
#71
That's exactly why you need the malaria doses, not just because of SAYING THE TRUTH. Of course you always keep it real except that you sometimes fly away with malaria scenerios like this:
Yes O! nwanne, can't a creative chick's mind be allowed to wander small? :rolleyes: shuo!

but how you see am? Unadulterated love and moolahs in one guy! Booyahkah!!! This one pass reality of Cinderella fairy tale O! Wife #1, STEP ASIDE! #2 is stepping IN...........
and sure hopes a #3 does not come after sweat: courtesy of naija wayo ala babalawo! :lol:



[Chai! Ssergit! Stop it! These NR chics hate you enough already as is, and now you dey annoy them more sweat:]
 

ssergit

..still The Drama Queen!
#72
Abeg, enuff of moi in this thread. people are not realistic O jare. I like to talk where efrybodi says it AS IS.
Una bye bye.
Rudeboy, abeg DHL the chloroquine here, one of my oyibo doctor say hin nefa see am before. I wan make hin taste am :D
 

barbarellanoir

Well-Known Member
#73
i have a senior friend who could not have children and her husband married a second wife.
and she said to me once "do you know what it does to a woman to kiss your husband goodnight and then watch him go to another woman's bedroom and make love to her? it tears me to pieces inside and shreds my heart"

it's not as cut and dried, or as black/white. matters of the heart rarely are.
she may love the man, the man may love her and want to die for her (taking away the money factor because it's not all about the money for some women. not everything is about money), but knowing that you are married to a man who will leave you on some nights and go make love to another woman (even though he married the other woman first), how long is that giddiness and happiness and love going to last in that woman's (second wife) eyes before she starts being bitter about knowing that every other night he's heading to his first wife, even though he professes to love her and will die for her and will even lick the ground she walks on?

i'm just trying to say that it's not about the money, it's not about the man loving you, it's about THE WOMAN and how she handles it.
at the end of the day if she is bitter and mad all the time...

but what do i know?

whatever floats anybody boat, just make sure you are happy and your happiness and peace of mind is not compromised.
http://i53.tinypic.com/euirrn.jpg


Thank you!!!!!...It's all about knowing yourself....If you know you wouldn't be happy in that scenario, others who can/will can be second, third, fourth or fifth...Not a judgement call on my part. I just KNOW it isn't for me....that is all.
 

paj

Well-Known Member
#74
Your Uncle has lots of agreeable choices...no need to glimpse my way....Please and thank you!sweat:
..ok now..I don tell am...but from this yellow VW Beetle wey E just buy,wiff personal tag "NOIR XMAS" I no sure this na the last U go hear of am O...smokin:
 

kolinzo

Well-Known Member
#75
so many couples live thousands of miles apart these days.
so many couples DON'T even see themselves daily [as should be]. There are married couples who travel across the atlantic ocean 3,4, 5 times a year only! They don't live in the same house or work in the same city etc.

So, yes, two wives can be married to one man and NOT even know the time table of when the other woman is going to be fcuked! After all, some 'happily' married men are able to carry out these same 'fcuking schedule' with their mistresses even with their wives just miles away from them! And MOST WOMEN KNOW their hubbies are cheating and still stay in the marriage! ALL single ladies dating married men know that the man would go back into the arms of 'wife', and most likely fcuk her same night, even minutes after leaving her [single lady's] bed.

Times have changed! Any woman who is over-jealous these days is seen as loco! Things have changed! This is not the time when a woman sat at home as 'wife' waiting for hubby to come home and shine her congo and bring the bacon! Now, most women are bringing better bacons home too! And most women after working so long hours really don't want to shine hubby's congo, but just to get the kids to bed and get ready for another career day.

I tell any woman leaving her hubby because he is shinning another congo to be sure she is really tired emotionally before doing so, because stepping out [out of jealousy] just opened the door for the other woman to pack in fully!

I've always wondered sef...why don't polygamous spouses engage in Menage a trois? I mean, seriously, it is the same penis and Vs. Just kukuma save time and do it all at the same time, abi? [chai, the things I say. smh @ me]. lolol
Hmmm...so would you be a second wife?
 
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