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Would U consider being a second wife?

Discussion in 'LOVE, MARRIAGE, THE SEXES' started by paj, Oct 20, 2011.

  1. Supermom

    Supermom Well-Known Member

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    Marriage in my opinion is so overrated....(funny coming from me lol)..there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single, embracing and loviing it..neither is there anything wrong with being married if it works for you...The most important thing is to be happy..

    Now back to the question ... Second wife? Nah...not for me...That I will willingly and knowingly share a man..Heck no..
    Especially if I claim to love him...so for this to happen it has to be for money, not just 'chewing gum'money...I mean 'don't be silly money' ....it has to be worth it..Even then, I'd rather be a mistress than a second wife...
    Who needs all the restrictions of marriage when we are sharing the man? I would want the freedom to come and go as i please...This way I can still get a Madingo to ermmmmm help out...
     
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  2. paj

    paj D JENGBORAN OF YORUBALAND

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    ..I see sey U get stronghead..:gnash..my uncle dey call IMF now...checking him acct balance before he sends the 'first envelope' to U :gnash
     
  3. paj

    paj D JENGBORAN OF YORUBALAND

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    ..well.....I used to think the same thing..so I can fully understand where U're coming from...but I think it has to be on a case by case basis...I dont agree that there's "absolutely nothing wrong with being single" but it's understandable when the available options aren't exactly tantalizing...it's about finding the right match and...I'll rather be single than "just marry",which I see where your point goes..but I dont think marriage is overrated.How it'll be depends on several minimum(@ least) number of things falling into place...with a pinch of luck...and both parties determined to continually work on perfecting the juggling act of making it work...

    Pa
     
  4. ssergit

    ssergit ..still The Drama Queen!

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    Yeah, that is a foregone phase.
    My dear, the AIDS thing and marriage na hin dey vex pass! better understandable if a single guy brings AIDS, but a married man own na hin hard to swallow! Like, seriously, why da heck did he get married! isn't sex part of the benefits? And the wife 9 out of 10 times is a faithful siddon dey wait wife!! Who ends up collecting all the diseases and vaginal juice the husbands gathers outside! I wonder ....do cheating married men wash their penis after fcuking a girlfriend, before inserting kini into his wife????? eeeewww!!!

    About the AIDS/Nurse/Wife thingy, is it not Illegal for a person NOT to tell another of their AIDS's status???? In this case, a wife???? I am 110% sure that it is illegal!! And if he is knowingly sleeping with the wife, that is homicidal! That man is wicked!!!! And the nursing agency SHALL BE LIABLE too!
    Wow!!!!!!! This is scary!
     
  5. barbarellanoir

    barbarellanoir Well-Known Member

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    Your Uncle has lots of agreeable choices...no need to glimpse my way....Please and thank you!sweat:
     
  6. rudeboy

    rudeboy Well-Known Member

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    Nne, you maybe seriously in need of some malaria tablets o!
     
  7. ssergit

    ssergit ..still The Drama Queen!

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    WHY? FOR SAYING THE TRUTH?!!! YOU!!!!!??? Who was berating a niece for not sleeping with her uncle's friend for a job dare to tell em say I need panadol abi na chloroquine for saying our women here are lying through their teeth??? Nna, mind yoursef O! Tell me, if you know any babe wey one bobo came on loving like the original Prince charming, and you KNOW SAY the man love her to die! the man even dey cry to you to help you beg the babe to say yes! Hin even give you a Ferrari just to beg the chick to say YEs to his marriage proposal.......Rudie, talk true O! You go tell Single chick [that has been searching for the elusive Mr. Right for decades] to say No, and become Wife # Mighty 1 to one dude who may cheat on her, and not even love her genuinely???? smh

    I am sick and tired of women PRETENDING! Why do women say no to things like these so casually? The question is NOT if you would say yes to a rich old man as second wife! Neither is the question about becoming a second wife to a randy young man who has money to spoil you [at the expense of love].

    The question in my post is: WHAT IF THE MAN IS HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH THE WOMAN! AND FOR CERTAIN REASONS, CANNOT DIVORCE HIS FIRST WIFE, {she maybe terminally ill, or they may have had one of those family/merger/business marriage with no love}. AND HE CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THIS SINGLE GIRL. AND HE JUST HAPPENS TO HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY [WHICH MEANS THE SECOND WIFE WOULD NOT HAVE TO HASSLE ANY ISH WITH WIFE #1].

    i AM NOT saying that being a second wife is a glorious thing either. Just that this is one of those questions I DON'T expect women to say 'HECK NO' just like that. Without thinking it through! This is one of those questions that a honest woman would say 'NO, {with explanation}! Some people have deliberately decided to look at my question as if I am asking if they would marry a rich man who would give them material things as second wife! THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM SAYING! I am talking about a man that would give you GENUINE LOVE+RICHES+COMPANIONSHIP+ALL your heart's desires! Yes, in Wife #2 status! NOT living in the same house as wife #1! In fact, living in different continents!
    Because at the end of the day, every human being is pursuing happiness! And if the happiness comes with title of Wife #2, would you say NO and live/marry another man you do not honestly and truly love?? Just because you want to be Wife #1???

    Pardon me if i refuse to believe that any sane woman would genuinely love a man {the type of love that starts from the bottom of the hearts and tingles the spine and jitters the nerve endings, the type of love that the sight of the man would make their heart skips 5 beats a second}....and with the extra bonus of the man being mega rich [to cater to all their high-heels cravings, their shopping needs, their need for luxurious lifestyle, their avenue to help even the old woman in their village by opening something like an Elder's Day Care etc]...would still say a casual NO to becoming a second wife! Mba! i am NOT buying it!
    EVERY woman's dream is to be loved, and loved genuinely! And if Mr. Right comes on a shiny private jet, YES, some of the women saying no here would say YES before he even finishes asking the question! And they shall keep uploading the pictures of their lunch on a gondola in the morning, and sunbathing in Barbados in the afternoon, and dinner and a movie premiere in Los Angeles! :rolleyes:
    That is the one NO a woman would say after fasting and prayer! After lots of confusion of 'Should I?!" Shouldn't I?!" sessions! THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE EASY "NO" questions! Especially with love involved! And the woman knowing that this is the ONLY man that has made her genuinely happy!

    You know the funny thing? While people are saying NO here, there are SO MANY WOMEN HERE IN USA WHO ARE IN FACT WIFE #2!! WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING! BECAUSE THEIR CUTE, NICE HUSBANDS HERE ALREADY MARRIED IN NIGERIA OR OTHER AFRICAN COUNTRIES AND NEVER HAD A REAL DIVORCE! SO, THEY ARE STILL LEGALLY MARRIED TO ANOTHER WOMAN! Remember Mercy Johnson/Lovelyn saga? YES! That is a reality! There are men that carried traditional drinks on women back home, and by traditional rites, the woman is their wife!

    how many high flying ladies here are actually second wives? How many times have we seen 'the other woman' turn up at the funeral of dead men as 'The first wife' with grown up kids? smh. abeg, make una no make me laugh! A cheating man is NOT better than a polygamous man!
     
  8. Thickmadam

    Thickmadam OHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHH!!

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    i have a senior friend who could not have children and her husband married a second wife.
    and she said to me once "do you know what it does to a woman to kiss your husband goodnight and then watch him go to another woman's bedroom and make love to her? it tears me to pieces inside and shreds my heart"

    it's not as cut and dried, or as black/white. matters of the heart rarely are.
    she may love the man, the man may love her and want to die for her (taking away the money factor because it's not all about the money for some women. not everything is about money), but knowing that you are married to a man who will leave you on some nights and go make love to another woman (even though he married the other woman first), how long is that giddiness and happiness and love going to last in that woman's (second wife) eyes before she starts being bitter about knowing that every other night he's heading to his first wife, even though he professes to love her and will die for her and will even lick the ground she walks on?

    i'm just trying to say that it's not about the money, it's not about the man loving you, it's about THE WOMAN and how she handles it.
    at the end of the day if she is bitter and mad all the time...

    but what do i know?

    whatever floats anybody boat, just make sure you are happy and your happiness and peace of mind is not compromised.
     
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  9. ssergit

    ssergit ..still The Drama Queen!

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    so many couples live thousands of miles apart these days.
    so many couples DON'T even see themselves daily [as should be]. There are married couples who travel across the atlantic ocean 3,4, 5 times a year only! They don't live in the same house or work in the same city etc.

    So, yes, two wives can be married to one man and NOT even know the time table of when the other woman is going to be fcuked! After all, some 'happily' married men are able to carry out these same 'fcuking schedule' with their mistresses even with their wives just miles away from them! And MOST WOMEN KNOW their hubbies are cheating and still stay in the marriage! ALL single ladies dating married men know that the man would go back into the arms of 'wife', and most likely fcuk her same night, even minutes after leaving her [single lady's] bed.

    Times have changed! Any woman who is over-jealous these days is seen as loco! Things have changed! This is not the time when a woman sat at home as 'wife' waiting for hubby to come home and shine her congo and bring the bacon! Now, most women are bringing better bacons home too! And most women after working so long hours really don't want to shine hubby's congo, but just to get the kids to bed and get ready for another career day.

    I tell any woman leaving her hubby because he is shinning another congo to be sure she is really tired emotionally before doing so, because stepping out [out of jealousy] just opened the door for the other woman to pack in fully!

    I've always wondered sef...why don't polygamous spouses engage in Menage a trois? I mean, seriously, it is the same penis and Vs. Just kukuma save time and do it all at the same time, abi? [chai, the things I say. smh @ me]. lolol
     
  10. rudeboy

    rudeboy Well-Known Member

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    That's exactly why you need the malaria doses, not just because of SAYING THE TRUTH. Of course you always keep it real except that you sometimes fly away with malaria scenerios like this:

     
  11. ssergit

    ssergit ..still The Drama Queen!

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    Yes O! nwanne, can't a creative chick's mind be allowed to wander small? :rolleyes: shuo!

    but how you see am? Unadulterated love and moolahs in one guy! Booyahkah!!! This one pass reality of Cinderella fairy tale O! Wife #1, STEP ASIDE! #2 is stepping IN...........
    and sure hopes a #3 does not come after sweat: courtesy of naija wayo ala babalawo! :lol:



    [Chai! Ssergit! Stop it! These NR chics hate you enough already as is, and now you dey annoy them more sweat:]
     
  12. ssergit

    ssergit ..still The Drama Queen!

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    Abeg, enuff of moi in this thread. people are not realistic O jare. I like to talk where efrybodi says it AS IS.
    Una bye bye.
    Rudeboy, abeg DHL the chloroquine here, one of my oyibo doctor say hin nefa see am before. I wan make hin taste am :D
     
  13. barbarellanoir

    barbarellanoir Well-Known Member

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    http://i53.tinypic.com/euirrn.jpg


    Thank you!!!!!...It's all about knowing yourself....If you know you wouldn't be happy in that scenario, others who can/will can be second, third, fourth or fifth...Not a judgement call on my part. I just KNOW it isn't for me....that is all.
     
  14. paj

    paj D JENGBORAN OF YORUBALAND

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    ..ok now..I don tell am...but from this yellow VW Beetle wey E just buy,wiff personal tag "NOIR XMAS" I no sure this na the last U go hear of am O...smokin:
     
  15. kolinzo

    kolinzo Oodua4life

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    Hmmm...so would you be a second wife?
     
  16. Thoniaslim

    Thoniaslim Member

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    nope! too much drama!!!
     
  17. paj

    paj D JENGBORAN OF YORUBALAND

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    so?:grin
     
  18. barbarellanoir

    barbarellanoir Well-Known Member

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    One of the funniest threads....:laugh:....still not trying to be a sister wife in 2013
     
  19. Village-Boi

    Village-Boi Well-Known Member

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    I beg, which one is 'sister-wife'?
     
  20. barbarellanoir

    barbarellanoir Well-Known Member

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