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Your Inlaws are visiting....

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Thickmadam

OHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHH!!
#61
bwahahahahahahahahahaha @ bolded.
i sure say broda dey call you "mmanu aghu" (honey) {sorry i don't know how to spell it in central igbo}

My Mom de call my Dad, daddy :teu26: and it irks me like crazy. Dad calls Mom by her name :laugh: I have had to call your bros to order :laugher: on that mummy nonsense. My name will suffice.
 

paj

Well-Known Member
#62
pa j, what if she's a nursing mother? and after they eat the baby is crying to be fed?
would it make his penis fall off if the husband saw his wife rushing to nurse the baby right after they eat, and he decides to take the dishes to the sink and then wash them?
YES!:gnash ...:D:D haha..nice one..of course there are discretionary instances where the husband steps in...I'm referring to a situation where there no kids...the wife's not sick....nor handicapped...etc etc(hopefully etc etc covers all circumstancial circumstances :D)....
 

Sifu

Well-Known Member
#64
I like how you conveniently avoided my question about the bank account. Why are we even talking culture. Since when have I agreed to be a sheep. I don't do things simply because that is how they do it. I do things the way it works for me. I personally feel that if a man wants to pull the culture card especially when you live in a country like the United States then that man should not expect to see a penny of the womans money. You be a provider and then come home and sit on the couch and scratch your balls. Of course not you PaJ :) Just all those other men that subscribe to this way of reasoning.
 

Thickmadam

OHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHH!!
#65
I like how you conveniently avoided my question about the bank account. Why are we even talking culture. Since when have I agreed to be a sheep. I don't do things simply because that is how they do it. I do things the way it works for me. I personally feel that if a man wants to pull the culture card especially when you live in a country like the United States then that man should not expect to see a penny of the womans money. You be a provider and then come home and sit on the couch and scratch your balls. Of course not you PaJ :) Just all those other men that subscribe to this way of reasoning.
I think you just hit the crux of the whole matter.
I find that SOME men pull the culture thing when it suits them. and when it doesn't to hell with the culture. a friend who had the courage to leave her abusive husband said he would tell her it is our culture to do ABC, but when she told him one day that it wasn't their culture for the woman to be paying for 50% of the household bills in their culture the man takes care of the household, the woman pitches in when she can,and when he told her that her mother who lived with them would also be contributing to the household bills because she was working,, when she asked him which part of their culture that was, he said "this is america, we are not in our country, we will do things like them" or something like that. I don't recall verbatim what she said he told her.
 

paj

Well-Known Member
#67
I like how you conveniently avoided my question about the bank account. Why are we even talking culture. Since when have I agreed to be a sheep. I don't do things simply because that is how they do it. I do things the way it works for me. I personally feel that if a man wants to pull the culture card especially when you live in a country like the United States then that man should not expect to see a penny of the womans money. You be a provider and then come home and sit on the couch and scratch your balls. Of course not you PaJ :) Just all those other men that subscribe to this way of reasoning.
...oh..what about the bank account?it's called Household Income...and there are other things that are predominantly a man's job to do.Ok..lemme just set the record straight..:) Rules and Culture are ideals within which we are expect to operate..much as we're both equal as human beings,we can't play THE SAME ROLES.Each person has his/her roles/duties, which can be interchangeable.Some of these roles are 'standard'..or 'expectations'...a man can cater to his woman,much as a woman can cater to her man...but some of U are misinterpreting 'catering' to 'chores'..a husband that just had dinner with his wife can clear the table and wash the dishes,likewise she can do the same..it's called catering and it's not a chore..however,that will change a little when they have guests,and it's not because she's a slave.Infact,when two families have dinner together ,after dem chop finish the wives may clear the table together while the husband's disappear into the basement to watch a game..no be so?I would like to see where the wife has recalled the husband to come clear the table infront of guests...just as the man has his role.His job is to provide for the family,protect the family,have foresight etc.Now..the role can be reversed if the woman were occupied.I could have dinner with friends just before my wife has to rush somewhere and will be back shortly..I'm not gonna ask her to clear the table and wash the dishes first..haba!part of catering is to take over where she cant...it's not a chore..Because we're both earning income does not make a difference to the roles played...I mean..ok..let's assume I do my duties to make the money to provide for the house,since U dont want me to ask you a penny of what you've made,what EXACTLY will you be using your money for if it's not contributing to the household?
 

paj

Well-Known Member
#68
I think you just hit the crux of the whole matter.
I find that SOME men pull the culture thing when it suits them. and when it doesn't to hell with the culture. a friend who had the courage to leave her abusive husband said he would tell her it is our culture to do ABC, but when she told him one day that it wasn't their culture for the woman to be paying for 50% of the household bills in their culture the man takes care of the household, the woman pitches in when she can,and when he told her that her mother who lived with them would also be contributing to the household bills because she was working,, when she asked him which part of their culture that was, he said "this is america, we are not in our country, we will do things like them" or something like that. I don't recall verbatim what she said he told her.
...I dont agree with men picking out parts of culture to suit them...and what I'm saying is not from a chauvinistic viewpoint...of course you have people (men) who have this oppressive attitude towards women and of course the woman will recognise it and rebel.Now..this thing is not an uninterchangeable thing...and it's not a stiff rule...my point is that because each person has predetermined role,it will look very out of place if the other primarily takes that role over without reasonable reason...I wont expect my wife to be doing her own oil change,washing her car and stuff like that when III am there..would I?it's like if we shared one car and had a flat,then I insist she changes the tire because "shebi we were both riding in the car?": gnash ..the expectation is that as a man,I get down and dirty and take care of that...no difference here!Now..if I were sick and we were coming from the hospital..that's different...it's a gender-based expectation unless there is reason to act otherwise....
 

Sifu

Well-Known Member
#69
You are the one making it about chores LOL. we just see it as a ormal thing. You are the one getting constipation over it. And Yes Yes Yes. I have seen it happen. Both with my american friends and just about all my ghanaian friends. All the time. It's like you are taking back everything you said and then still sticking with what you said. We will let it slide for now. Since you are new to the biz. You are still a bush man
 

samira

Well-Known Member
#70
...I dont agree with men picking out parts of culture to suit them...and what I'm saying is not from a chauvinistic viewpoint...of course you have people (men) who have this oppressive attitude towards women and of course the woman will recognise it and rebel.Now..this thing is not an uninterchangeable thing...and it's not a stiff rule...my point is that because each person has predetermined role,it will look very out of place if the other primarily takes that role over without reasonable reason...I wont expect my wife to be doing her own oil change,washing her car and stuff like that when III am there..would I?it's like if we shared one car and had a flat,then I insist she changes the tire because "shebi we were both riding in the car?": gnash ..the expectation is that as a man,I get down and dirty and take care of that...no difference here!Now..if I were sick and we were coming from the hospital..that's different...it's a gender-based expectation unless there is reason to act otherwise....
@ highlighted... u ain't doing nada! abeg, there is something called Jiffy lube and the car wash place.....:roll come back here pa j :laugh:
 

paj

Well-Known Member
#71
@ highlighted... u ain't doing nada! abeg, there is something called Jiffy lube and the car wash place.....:roll come back here pa j :laugh:
...last time I tell YOU stuff..:gnash..ok...so na so E be..do you know HOW MUCH ENERGY it takes to drive a car to a carwash?:gnash
 

paj

Well-Known Member
#72
You are the one making it about chores LOL. we just see it as a ormal thing. You are the one getting constipation over it. And Yes Yes Yes. I have seen it happen. Both with my american friends and just about all my ghanaian friends. All the time. It's like you are taking back everything you said and then still sticking with what you said. We will let it slide for now. Since you are new to the biz. You are still a bush man
....Me?constipated?:gnash ..U dey take style say I'm full of isht?:gnash .. ..MODS!!!!:gnash....hehehe...bottom line it one can make 'catering' whatever they chose to..I think it boils down to the relationship you have with that person...catering could become a chore if U turn it into one....heck..for many couples even sex is a chore..I'm not taking back anythng because my points are in there if U read the fineprint well:) ever met a couple and when U start talking about 'stuff' they'd start asking.."you do THAT?oh wow?!!Your husband does THAT??chei!my husband wont let me do THAT because he says its the same lips I kiss the kids goodnight with!"...:gnash...so...one man's meat..really...but there's still a role each person ought to play..whether they play it..is entirely up to them..
 
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