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#1
Check This Out!!! Your Friend Been In This Relationship For 6 Plus Years... And She Did It First With This Guys, Yeah!!! The First Guy If You Know What I Mean? The Relationship Has Been On And Off All This While!!! She Dated Other Guys, Even Did It With Some. And She Tells You That Her Heart Belongs To This Guy, No Matter How She Tries To Forget Him, They Broke Up For The Last Time Almost Ayear Ago, She Tired To Move On With Her Life But Dosent Seems To Be Going Anywhere. Now Some Thing Happened To Her And This Guy That She Said Her Heart Is With Came Back To The Pic, This Time Around With An Engagement Ring, Due To All The Ups And Downs In Their Relationship She Dosent Know What To Do. Accept The Ring Or Not?

And Damn The Ring Got This Big Bling On It, I Mean Big And Real.

What Would You Do Ladies? Guys Your Input Will Be Cool Too. Would You Take The Ring Or Show Him The Door?
 

Omo-Oko

Active Member
#2
It depends on who was always breaking it up and who was always wrong when they used to fight and and break up. If he's the one, NO! I won't accept ring from someone who takes pleasure in breaking my heart all the time. If I am the one, then I will galdly take it. I must be lucky then!!!
 

mimi victor

Well-Known Member
#4
Engagement means nothing She needs to check herself out real good if the relationship is worth keeping at all .What is going to happen to them five yrs- ten yrs into the marriage. When thy are already behaving like Nigerian NEPA before marriage
 
#6
Omo-oko!It depends on who was always breaking it up and who was always wrong when they used to fight and and break up. If he's the one, NO! I won't accept ring from someone who takes pleasure in breaking my heart all the time. If I am the one, then I will galdly take it. I must be lucky then!!!
Sometimes the break up is also her fault, you know no one is perfect but at times the reason for breaking up is just too much for her or him to handle.

@gogetter & goseian! I bliv you are right it ll got to do with her heart and her decision too

@mimivictor! Thats where her problem lies... the on and off thingy, she wants this guy soo bad but at thesame time she wants to make the right desicion.
 

Okestra007

Mr. Lover Man
#7
Well, from my point of view, it seem they both meant for each other, and break ups was just that they both don't know how to deal with problems. The love seem to be there. Attending councelling before marriage should clear any doubts.
 

Spyc

Active Member
#8
Omo-Oko said:
It depends on who was always breaking it up and who was always wrong when they used to fight and and break up. If he's the one, NO! I won't accept ring from someone who takes pleasure in breaking my heart all the time. If I am the one, then I will galdly take it. I must be lucky then!!!
I second u :cool:
 
#9
some couples go thru this especially young couples. break up on and off, date other people, sleep with other people. sometimes it is healthy to get out there and be single for a while to pu tthings into perspective. however, every relationship is different. she needs to search in her heart and soul to see if she wants to spend the rest of her life with this man. not base it upon the ring or anything superficial, but tru love and true feelings. she needs to know what she wants and she needs to know what he wants. she should take some time and be honest with herself.
 

Multioption

Well-Known Member
#10
Crazysis said:
Check This Out!!! Your Friend Been In This Relationship For 6 Plus Years... And She Did It First With This Guys, Yeah!!! The First Guy If You Know What I Mean?
She gave up her innocence, right?

Crazysis said:
....The Relationship Has Been On And Off All This While!!! She Dated Other Guys, Even Did It With Some........
fling sort of a thing?

Crazysis said:
.....And She Tells You That Her Heart Belongs To This Guy, No Matter How She Tries To Forget Him,......
The power of intimacy. It's difficult to let go of the devil you know than the saint........

Crazysis said:
.....They Broke Up For The Last Time Almost Ayear Ago, She Tired To Move On With Her Life But Dosent Seems To Be Going Anywhere.....
too revealing.........

Crazysis said:
....Now Some Thing Happened To Her And This Guy That She Said Her Heart Is With Came Back To The Pic,......
What happened to her? That's the KEY to the unraveling of this mysterious and indecisive friend of yours.

Crazysis said:
....This Time Around With An Engagement Ring, Due To All The Ups And Downs In Their Relationship She Dosent Know What To Do. Accept The Ring Or Not?
Other pple's advice cannot help because the 'feelings' and the aftermath will be handled by her.

Crazysis said:
....And Damn The Ring Got This Big Bling On It, I Mean Big And Real.
It's not about the ring. You have revealed just too much to conclude that the problem lies with the ring.

Crazysis said:
....What Would You Do Ladies? Guys Your Input Will Be Cool Too. Would You Take The Ring Or Show Him The Door?
She is absoluetly indicisive and in that state of hers, she is probably not ready to settle down. Tell her, she will cheat again.

Your friend has been in a relationship for more than six years and yet inconclusive on what she wants! I bet no one can advise her right. Claiming to have a soft spot for the guy while seeing other guys is definitely untrue.

She seems to be considering the guy on the basis of HER present condition, what happens if her condition changes? The only condition upon which a marital life can thrive is 'genuine and spontaneous feelings' not coerced or forced.

You can't eat your cake and still have it. It's getting increasingly difficult to have a complete package in the opposite sex. My penny worth advice: tell your friend to think deeply before she acts.

Can you tell us how old your friend is? That could help in advising her.
 

Multioption

Well-Known Member
#11
crazysis said:
@mimivictor! Thats where her problem lies... the on and off thingy, she wants this guy soo bad but at the same time she wants to make the right desicion.
Did you say she wants the guy so bad? Your next sentence betrays that assertion.

This is what you said: She wants to make the right decision.

I thought she must have concluded in her senses and emotions (pros and cons) about spending the rest of her life with the guy, the reasons why she wants him so bad?

If the "on and off thing" wasn't strong enough to cause a lasting separation during their 6 years of dating, then it definitely will not cause it afterwards, it's just that the lady in question will continue to date other men who can appeal to her...... Is she afraid of cheating while she is married?
 

Crazy T

Well-Known Member
#12
Multioption said:
She gave up her innocence, right?

fling sort of a thing?

The power of intimacy. It's difficult to let go of the devil you know than the saint........

too revealing.........

What happened to her? That's the KEY to the unraveling of this mysterious and indecisive friend of yours.

Other pple's advice cannot help because the 'feelings' and the aftermath will be handled by her.

It's not about the ring. You have revealed just too much to conclude that the problem lies with the ring.

She is absoluetly indicisive and in that state of hers, she is probably not ready to settle down. Tell her, she will cheat again.

Your friend has been in a relationship for more than six years and yet inconclusive on what she wants! I bet no one can advise her right. Claiming to have a soft spot for the guy while seeing other guys is definitely untrue.

She seems to be considering the guy on the basis of HER present condition, what happens if her condition changes? The only condition upon which a marital life can thrive is 'genuine and spontaneous feelings' not coerced or forced.

You can't eat your cake and still have it. It's getting increasingly difficult to have a complete package in the opposite sex. My penny worth advice: tell your friend to think deeply before she acts.

Can you tell us how old your friend is? That could help in advising her.
This is dope! A marriage counselor cannot offer more than this. If the girl in question can take this free counseling, I guess her life will be better.
 
#13
@Multi &CrazyT You guys all got it wrong... she never cheatedon her guy ... and yes she wants this guy soo bad... on most of the occasion that the broke up, the reason for breaking is mostly because my friend is going places as in her career and never had much time for most things. And what ever happened has got nothing to do with her condition... actual it was a good thing... though am not allowed to say. And i will tell you some thing about my friend... if there is a girl that you can swear that she is not materialistic ... I will swear for her... and besides the bling thing... its me... am the one into bling... and if she wants a bling... she si definately able to afford any thing one and thing she want. You guys got me wrong when you say she, when they broke up, I believe is very human to try and move on with your life, and that was what she tried doing... not that she goes out of her way to cheat... to me i dont think that is cheating... its just that now... on many occasions she tried to get things settled with this guy and he just gives her one soppy story or the other... she was a the brink of giving up when he came back to her.

And talking about the bling... bling is my second name... take about material... its also my name.

My friend is in her 20s (25 to 27) AND BELIEVE ME IF I SAY THAT ANY MAN THAT TAKES HAVE HER AS A WIFE PARTNER OR WHAT HAVE YOU... THE MAN IS ONE LUCKY MAN...IN EVERY THING I DO ... SHE IS MY ROLE MODEL
 
#14
Multioption said:
Did you say she wants the guy so bad? Your next sentence betrays that assertion.

This is what you said: She wants to make the right decision.

I thought she must have concluded in her senses and emotions (pros and cons) about spending the rest of her life with the guy, the reasons why she wants him so bad?

If the "on and off thing" wasn't strong enough to cause a lasting separation during their 6 years of dating, then it definitely will not cause it afterwards, it's just that the lady in question will continue to date other men who can appeal to her...... Is she afraid of cheating while she is married?

HOW I WISH YOU KNOW MY FRIEND... YOUR WOULD ASK HER HAND IN MARRIAGE TOO... ONE THING SHE CAN NEVER DO IS CHEAT... AMOUNG THE TWO OF US... AM THE BAD CHILD. AND NO MATER WHAT SHE DOSE NO MAN APPEALS TO HER. AND HER INDICISIVENESS IS JUST DUE TO THE FACT THAT THE MAN CAME ON HER SO STRONG. YOU ARE OFF A RELATIONSHIP FOR A YEAR AND YOU TRIED EVERY THING YOU CAN TO GET THE RELATIONSHP BACK AND NOTHING ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE WANT YOU AND NOT ONLY WANTING YOU SHE WANT TO MARRY YOU... MEN!!! YOU WONT TELL ME THAT YOU WILL ACCEPT IT IMMIDIATELY.
 

Pete

Well-Known Member
#15
One thing she shouldn't do is to be harsh on him, since she still got crazy feelings for him. She should tell the man to give her sometime to think about it, and even tell him they should try and work things together, settle their differences, date again for sometime; things should return to normalcy as they were before. Then after having a close watch on him and how things went (maybe after a month or so) she can now confidently decide on something.
 
#16
Pete said:
One thing she shouldn't do is to be harsh on him, since she still got crazy feelings for him. She should tell the man to give her sometime to think about it, and even tell him they should try and work things together, settle their differences, date again for sometime; things should return to normalcy as they were before. Then after having a close watch on him and how things went (maybe after a month or so) she can now confidently decide on something.
Your right, thats one thing she can do...
 

Multioption

Well-Known Member
#17
Crazysis, I'm preparing a thesis for you, will point your attention to some mind boggling issues (flaws) in your presentation. Right now, it's like dealing with a 'half empty, half full cup' situation.
 
#18
Multioption said:
Crazysis, I'm preparing a thesis for you, will point your attention to some mind boggling issues (flaws) in your presentation. Right now, it's like dealing with a 'half empty, half full cup' situation.
"half empty, half full cup situation" Oh Multi... let me just stop here, and wait and see this your thesis...
 

Multioption

Well-Known Member
#19
crazysis said:
"half empty, half full cup situation" Oh Multi... let me just stop here, and wait and see this your thesis...
The information at hand is not thorough, hence advice from the forumites can at best be lopsided.

What happned to your friend? Remember no one in this forum knows your friend, so giving us a hint on what happened to her won't amount to defamation of character.
 
#20
Multioption said:
The information at hand is not thorough, hence advice from the forumites can at best be lopsided.

What happned to your friend? Remember no one in this forum knows your friend, so giving us a hint on what happened to her won't amount to defamation of character.
To make the story short... My friend is quite successful in her own right... she has business and a good career.

Some time ago some boys who used to work for her wanted to sabotage her business by damaging some things their, amd this boys were brought to her by this guy she is so inlove with, but by the grace of God they were cought. This guy was called in cos they were his bors, he was angry and got then lucked up. now due to all that happened, my friend was shaken, thats when the guy saw it as an opportunity to come in... Their last break up was due to the fact that she was pursuing her career to the highest and didnt have much time. but i bliv she has learnt her lesson now...

Is that enough info?
 
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