Marriage, Sex and Christians

[Thickmadam]

*Let's be mature about this conversation. If you cannot contribute meaningfully please don't make any comment at all. And if you're going to be all sanctimonious, kindly exit left.
Thanks. *

Heard an interesting conversation the other day and I thought to see what *mature* adults thought about it.

Is the purpose of marriage only to pro-create?
Can christians (let's stick to married christians) have sex just for the fun and pleasure it gives? Or again, is it just for pro-creation?
Can married christians use sex toys?

 

[kolinzo]

I am not married but I can chime in right?

Okay, married women shouldn't be using sex toys. Why? Because that's cheating on the husband. Is it good for the husband to be having sex with sex toy for male? However, I won't be surprised at the acceptance of this behaviour in the near future.

The purpose of marriage: God said go into the world and be fruitful and multiply. So yes that's the major reason there is marriage (Biblically speaking). But this particular point can be stressed by going deep into the words.

Sex as leisure or pro-creation: Well sex is for procreation. If you have sex you will get pregnant (as a female). But as the world turns sex is being used as jobs, leisure, anti-depressant etc.

More to come as I dey work.

 

[Sifu]

The purpose of marriage is not just for procreation
Sex is meant to be enjoyed but if a person chooses not to enjoy it then it is their right
Absolutely nothing wrong with using sex toys

 

[Sola]

What people do and permit in their marriage is between the two people in the marriage. Who is going to know? Or does some kind of faith require you to advertise what you do in the privacy of your own home to the world? And it is okay for anyone in any faith to believe sex is only for breeding. It does not in any way stop another from walking a different path. Life is too short abeg. Folks should live and fashi the rest.

 

[Thickmadam]

it's an open discussion so anybody can chime in.

Really?! sex toys = cheating?!
could you explain this further?

If you say that the MAJOR reason for marriage is procreation, does this then invalidate the marriage of those people who, due to biological issues, cannot have children of their own?
I thought God created Eve for Adam so that he could have companionship because He didn't think it was right for him to be alone.

I can't wait to hear your explanation for the bolded statement. I don't understand what you're trying to say.

I am not married but I can chime in right?

Okay, married women shouldn't be using sex toys. Why? Because that's cheating on the husband. Is it good for the husband to be having sex with sex toy for male? However, I won't be surprised at the acceptance of this behaviour in the near future.

The purpose of marriage: God said go into the world and be fruitful and multiply. So yes that's the major reason there is marriage (Biblically speaking). But this particular point can be stressed by going deep into the words.

Sex as leisure or pro-creation: Well sex is for procreation. If you have sex you will get pregnant (as a female). But as the world turns sex is being used as jobs, leisure, anti-depressant etc.More to come as I dey work.

 

[Thickmadam]

ei!
a lot of christians are under the assumption that sex is not for enjoyment o. and God help you if, as a woman, you say you enjoy it and you initiate it...whaaaa!!!!

to the bolded, i don't think that some women even know what they're supposed to feel or how to enjoy it. (i know i'm not making sense, sorry!)
some statistics show that most women have not climbed *and fallen off* the mountain top! ever!! i don't know if it's still so, but i seem to remember women being stigmatized for being sexual creatures if they dressed a certain way or talked a certain way.
*sigh*

The purpose of marriage is not just for procreation
Sex is meant to be enjoyed but if a person chooses not to enjoy it then it is their right
Absolutely nothing wrong with using sex toys

 

[Thickmadam]

thank you.

What people do and permit in their marriage is between the two people in the marriage. Who is going to know? Or does some kind of faith require you to advertise what you do in the privacy of your own home to the world? And it is okay for anyone in any faith to believe sex is only for breeding. It does not in any way stop another from walking a different path. Life is too short abeg. Folks should live and fashi the rest.

 

[Sifu]

ei!
a lot of christians are under the assumption that sex is not for enjoyment o. and God help you if, as a woman, you say you enjoy it and you initiate it...whaaaa!!!!

to the bolded, i don't think that some women even know what they're supposed to feel or how to enjoy it. (i know i'm not making sense, sorry!)
some statistics show that most women have not climbed *and fallen off* the mountain top! ever!! i don't know if it's still so, but i seem to remember women being stigmatized for being sexual creatures if they dressed a certain way or talked a certain way.
*sigh*

So basically it is another way to use religion to keep women oppressed. Obviously the rule does not apply to men. Men will always get pleasure from sex. The man by default will find it pleasureable but the woman is just a container for storing sperm and carrying babies. Sigh. Some womem actually buy into this nonsense.

 

[Thickmadam]

yes, especially when the women's ministry will tell you that your main job is to 'satisfy your husband'.
apparently women aren't supposed to be satisfied as well.

So basically it is another way to use religion to keep women oppressed. Obviously the rule does not apply to men. Men will always get pleasure from sex. The man by default will find it pleasureable but the woman is just a container for storing sperm and carrying babies. Sigh. Some womem actually buy into this nonsense.

 

[kaymax]

It's interesting that this thread should be started when it did, because on that very same day, I had a civil 'discourse' with another sister in Christ on this day about premarital sex. Did you know that there's nowhere in the Bible where it mentions premarital sex being a sin? It makes mention of fornication and desiring another man's wife, but nothing about premarital sex.

Anyhoo, back to the thread, I've never had the impression growing up as a preacher's kid and during my spiritual walk, that sex is ONLY for procreation. I've always known it to be enjoyed between a husband and wife. We need to be careful as to the folks we listen to, remember, there are few things the Bible explicitly speaks against, most things are interpreted by whoever the spritual leader of the organization is.

It's important to know and understand that we have a direct path to God Himself and can go to Him and ask any questions we may have, I rarely take what others tell me as Gospel, as interpretation can be different. I have no doubt that biblicaly, both parties are to enjoy the carnal pleasures of the flesh to the fullest, as long as it is just the two, and no other parties involved, ie, no 3sums..etc. As for sex toys, again, this needs to be between the two, obviously, there is no mention of that in the Bible, but if the two enjoy it, then by all means,why not. There are some men that enjoy watching their women use sex toys, and all that is part of foreplay that leads to the total and complete satisfaction of both parties. Some men should be happy about sex toys, since most can't satisfy their wives anyway (studies have shown, not my opinion so no one jump on me).

 

[kaymax]

I am not married but I can chime in right?

Okay, married women shouldn't be using sex toys. Why? Because that's cheating on the husband. Is it good for the husband to be having sex with sex toy for male? However, I won't be surprised at the acceptance of this behaviour in the near future.

If both the husband and wife agree to this, then, that's up to them, it's no one's place to judge, again, the two people in the marriage.

ei!
a lot of christians are under the assumption that sex is not for enjoyment o. and God help you if, as a woman, you say you enjoy it and you initiate it...whaaaa!!!!

Again, this is where I say be careful who you listen to, I have never heard a man or woman of God say that sex is not to be enjoyed by woman.

yes, especially when the women's ministry will tell you that your main job is to 'satisfy your husband'.
apparently women aren't supposed to be satisfied as well.

Yes, it's our duty to satisfy our husbands, it is equally his duty to satisfy us, it goes both ways.

 

[mealone]

It's interesting that this thread should be started when it did, because on that very same day, I had a civil 'discourse' with another sister in Christ on this day about premarital sex. Did you know that there's nowhere in the Bible where it mentions premarital sex being a sin? It makes mention of fornication and desiring another man's wife, but nothing about premarital sex.

Anyhoo, back to the thread, I've never had the impression growing up as a preacher's kid and during my spiritual walk, that sex is ONLY for procreation. I've always known it to be enjoyed between a husband and wife. We need to be careful as to the folks we listen to, remember, there are few things the Bible explicitly speaks against, most things are interpreted by whoever the spritual leader of the organization is.

It's important to know and understand that we have a direct path to God Himself and can go to Him and ask any questions we may have, I rarely take what others tell me as Gospel, as interpretation can be different. I have no doubt that biblicaly, both parties are to enjoy the carnal pleasures of the flesh to the fullest, as long as it is just the two, and no other parties involved, ie, no 3sums..etc. As for sex toys, again, this needs to be between the two, obviously, there is no mention of that in the Bible, but if the two enjoy it, then by all means,why not. There are some men that enjoy watching their women use sex toys, and all that is part of foreplay that leads to the total and complete satisfaction of both parties. Some men should be happy about sex toys, since most can't satisfy their wives anyway (studies have shown, not my opinion so no one jump on me).

Per my understanding,fornication is defined as voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons or two persons not married to each other which in my own opinion has the same definition as pre marital sex. since pre-marital is before marriage, it means so there's no "legal" allowance to have sex.

 

[Dsampler]

so, wey that HIS MAJESTY guy na? This looked his type of topic...God and sex...and gay people.

 

[Kala Lou]

Since i don't subscribe to a any particular religion, I'm looking at this issue from a moral(yes the non religious can have a moral compass too) perspective. "Cheating" is subjective to different couples, couples set boundaries for their relationships and when one partner strays then it's cheating. Sleeping with multiple partners may be cheating in most relationships, but there are some where it's permitted..like in open marriages or swingers. I believe anything one does behind the back of their spouse or trying to hide from ones spouse can be considered cheating(gambling, hidden bank account...etc).....just my two cents...

 

[kolinzo]

it's an open discussion so anybody can chime in.

Really?! sex toys = cheating?!
could you explain this further?

If you say that the MAJOR reason for marriage is procreation, does this then invalidate the marriage of those people who, due to biological issues, cannot have children of their own?
I thought God created Eve for Adam so that he could have companionship because He didn't think it was right for him to be alone.

I can't wait to hear your explanation for the bolded statement. I don't understand what you're trying to say.

From my understanding of this thread, it is about what christians think about sex in marriage. Right? If yes then I was answering the question based on my knowledge of the book.

Now, generally speaking, if you use sex toy it is cheating even with your husband's consent - though to your husband it is not cheating, afterall, swingers allow their partners to have sex with other people too. The thing is you don't swear to your toys at the alter, you swear to your husband/wife. So when you are doing it with anything or anybody else it is a clear indication you are cheating.

God created Adam, then created Eve to be his helper, companion, and be fruitful and multiply. Sex is for the purpose of procreation (again "... be fruitful and multiply), but it does not invalidate a marriage if the couple can't have a child. They just have to keep trying and if they can't they have every right to divorce and the Book is not against this.

Which brings me to the third point: Really if you look at it, before the advent of all these preventive drugs and the old school ways... girls were scared to death to have sex because they knew the repercussion. It was a no go area for females back in the ancient days. But then the Book tells us God destroyed a city because of immoralities related to sex. But that did not stop human beings as we use sex for jobs (prostitution); leisure (just ask college kids); stress relief (ask people around).

 

[kolinzo]

If both the husband and wife agree to this, then, that's up to them, it's no one's place to judge, again, the two people in the marriage.

Sure and I agree. But what about in the eyes of the Most High whose presence you swore? Remember this is Sex, Marriage, and Christians!

 

[Thickmadam]

wow....Ko....wow!!!
i just....wow....
I'll be back, if i can find my words.

From my understanding of this thread, it is about what christians think about sex in marriage. Right? If yes then I was answering the question based on my knowledge of the book.

Now, generally speaking, if you use sex toy it is cheating even with your husband's consent - though to your husband it is not cheating, afterall, swingers allow their partners to have sex with other people too. The thing is you don't swear to your toys at the alter, you swear to your husband/wife. So when you are doing it with anything or anybody else it is a clear indication you are cheating.

God created Adam, then created Eve to be his helper, companion, and be fruitful and multiply. Sex is for the purpose of procreation (again "... be fruitful and multiply), but it does not invalidate a marriage if the couple can't have a child. They just have to keep trying and if they can't they have every right to divorce and the Book is not against this.

Which brings me to the third point: Really if you look at it, before the advent of all these preventive drugs and the old school ways... girls were scared to death to have sex because they knew the repercussion. It was a no go area for females back in the ancient days. But then the Book tells us God destroyed a city because of immoralities related to sex. But that did not stop human beings as we use sex for jobs (prostitution); leisure (just ask college kids); stress relief (ask people around).

 

[NTB]

*Let's be mature about this conversation. If you cannot contribute meaningfully please don't make any comment at all. And if you're going to be all sanctimonious, kindly exit left.
Thanks. *

Heard an interesting conversation the other day and I thought to see what *mature* adults thought about it.

1. Is the purpose of marriage only to pro-create?
2. Can christians (let's stick to married christians) have sex just for the fun and pleasure it gives? Or again, is it just for pro-creation?
3. Can married christians use sex toys?

my answers
1. No, what happens to the love and companionship
2. yes on the pleasure. You are there to please, enjoy, and satisfy each other.
3. yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssss if it helps you relax and get in the mood.

 

[kolinzo]

wow....Ko....wow!!!
i just....wow....
I'll be back, if i can find my words.

Abeg spit fire, TM. I am willing to learn.

 

[Sifu]

Sure and I agree. But what about in the eyes of the Most High whose presence you swore? Remember this is Sex, Marriage, and Christians!

Kolinzo why do you think that enhancing your pleasure with the aids of toys is wrong in a marriage. Why do you say a woman would be cheating on her husband if she uses a sex toy????? Would it be a sin if she masturbated without a sex toy or that also a sin?